Gavin and I are so blessed to be away - by ourselves - in the Poconos this week. (Thank you Jenny for keeping the girls for us! Thank you Blakes for helping Jenny keep the girls for us. Thank you Mom for the use of one of your timeshare weeks!)
This has been a sweet time of reflection, rest and renewal. We had Sunday through Wednesday to ourselves to sleep in, stay in, stay in pj's all day. It was just what we needed. Our friends, the Ryan's, joined us on Wednesday night for the remainder of the week. We've prayed together and worshiped - it's been just what we needed. (We still stayed in our pj's for most of the day....:))
What I've been learning and what has been confirmed: God is definitely ushering us into a new season of ministry. We've known this for over a year and a half, but it's becoming increasingly clear that the new season is upon us and will most likely roll out within the coming year. He's had me in the book of Job for the past few weeks. I see that God wants us to love, follow and trust Him, not because we'll be successful or get good things (and therefore, avoid bad things) if we do, but just because loving Him and being loved by Him is enough.
This is a constant theme over the past few months - even up to the last year. The question He has posed to me has been: Am I enough? ...just me? Is My love enough? Am I worth more than your comfort? Am I worth more than your rights? Am I worth more than stability or security? Do I matter more than your children, your family, your friends? Am I worth it even if you never see a single dream come true? Am I enough?
It has taken me months, and many tests and layers, but my answer has been, and is: Yes! All to you I surrender - every thing, every part of me, all of my dreams, all of me - I surrender. You are enough. I trust You and I know that You are Good! You are a good Father. My hope is in You, Lord!
I'm also realizing that if I had a true understanding of God's holiness the answer to these questions would be a resounding - no-brainer - YES! Reading Job was uncomfortable. It's such a fascinating book. ...so many themes. God's holiness was certainly one theme that screamed out to me. The Lord now has me reading Isaiah...are you picking up on a theme?! God is really wanting me to grasp His holiness. ...well, here we go!
much love to you, my precious friends. I covet your prayers, thoughts, concern and love. I love to hear from you. (the girls love homeschooling - I'm starting to:) It's definitely been a journey of refining my character, and is certainly an act of obedience. I'm still in the thick of it. Prayers, advice, thoughts are always welcomed. I'll talk more about homeschooling soon. ...when my head comes above water:)
