Waiting on the World to Change...

Am I the only one that is upset about this idiotic song "Waiting on the World to Change"? This was a letter I recently wrote to Oprah regarding John Mayer's visit to her show.

Dear Oprah,

This is the first letter I’ve written to you, certainly NOT the first time I’ve been inspired, but the first time I’ve felt compelled to write regarding your show. I’m a HUGE Oprah fan. My sister and I tivo your show and watch every week, sometimes a weeks worth of shows in one night. My daughters, Raegan, 5 and Reece, 2, know that you are one of my heroes and know of my hope that you will be one of theirs, as well. (my oldest easily recognizes you and Bono and can pick your picture (and his voice, as well) out of a crowd….that always makes my husband and me smile.)

I have been so inspired, especially this season, with some of your guests: Mr. Obama, whom I became a fan of a few years ago during his first appearance on your show, Mr. Denzel Washington, Corey Booker and now tonight, Mr. Christopher Gardner. Wow! Such amazing men! Their lives, their stories inspire me to be better – a better mother, a better wife, a better American. Their stories cross all boundaries of culture and generation. Their audacious hope is contagious and challenging. I appreciate these men and am thankful for the influence they have already had in my life!

A few weeks ago, I heard John Mayer’s newest song “Waiting on the world to change” and it infuriated me! I thought to myself, “I bet Oprah would hate this song, too. I wish she would have him on her show and tell him off!” When I found out you were having him on I couldn’t wait to hear what you would have to say about this ridiculous song. Obviously my hope for a good spanking did not come to fruition, and I understand why you were so diplomatic with him, but I find myself asking – as I continue to see this irresponsible song get more and more recognition – “Am I the only one angry about this?!”

AAGGGHHHH!!!!! When I first the heard the song, I felt sure that he was criticizing the young “men” of today’s lazy attitudes toward life and perhaps challenging the young men of America to make a change, empowering them with the truth that we can make a difference; we can change the world. (that’s one of the reasons that the Indigo Girls are heroes of mine because they are masters at that craft, and at promoting an overcoming attitude in the midst of oppression) I was shocked, however, when I realized he was actually promoting this lazy and reprehensible attitude!! What?!?!

As a 30 year old white female from North Carolina, I find myself wondering where in the world the young white heroes are? I am thrilled to see so many strong black men rising up and challenging us all to be better and to fight. Where are the white men? Are there any? Maybe it’s wrong to ask this question. Perhaps I should just be satisfied that anyone is standing up and making a difference – and I am, but I think when anyone looks at their own race of people there should be a bit of natural and healthy lens of critique. I don’t like what I see. My television shows me selfish little girls on Laguana Beach spending hundreds of dollars on weekly shopping sprees their parents regularly fund; A world where self absorbed men no longer honor women; Young people are too oblivious to give up their seats for an elderly citizen. I see a bunch of spoiled brats and it makes me sick!

I realize most of these issues cross cultures and even that there are much bigger issues in the world to conquer than these tiny examples I’ve mentioned. But, where are the heroes, the activists, the next Bono and Oprah, of this coming generation or, more importantly, the parents raising their children with these standards?

Am I being too harsh? I just can’t stand to hear these amazingly inspiring stories of hope next to a lazy and irresponsible message of “It’s not that we don’t care, we just know that the fight ain’t fair so we’ll keep waiting on the world to change….and one day when our generation is in control we’ll make a difference”!!!!!!! No you won’t, ‘cause you’ll be so used to sitting back and waiting you won’t have a clue what to do!!! AAGGHHH!!! I hate that attitude! It’s an insult to all those who have fought their way through trials and situations they didn’t like or think were fair. It’s an insult to anyone with hope! Shamefully, it seems to be the “young white American” way to think, and it is an utter embarrassment.

The reason why my husband and I raise our girls to be little activists and have heroes like you and Bono, the Indigo Girls and Mr. Obama, along with the matriarchs in my family, is because of the example of strength we wish to instill in them. As Mr. Gardner’s character in the movie said to his son, “Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can’t do something. If you want it, go get it”, we also feel that every life is a gift ordained for a special purpose. We don’t teach the girls that they can do anything they want to do, because it’s not true or in their best interest. (I think the audition tapes for American Idol prove that point well enough) We do, however, teach them that they can do ANYTHING the Lord calls them to do. No calling is too big for them. Whatever calling God has put on their lives, he’ll give them the strength to conquer, but they have to work for it, fight for it and make sacrifices for things that are really important.

I know I can make a difference in this world by how my husband and I choose to raise our girls, and the kind of example I set for them with my life. I don’t buy into the lie of John Mayer’s song, that because the fight isn’t fair, I can’t fight. I am a fighter. I am raising little fighters, and we will change this world! Don’t tell me I can’t do something! Inspire me to do more.

Thank you, Oprah, for being one of those inspirations for me and millions of others. ….now can’t you please give John Mayer a good kick in the pants or at least call his momma and ask her to do it?!:)

Thank you for your time.

With all my respect and adoration

The Spirit of Christmas

I had a very difficult and, what ended up being, amazing conversation with my 5 yr. old daughter today. It was centered around the question of whether or not Santa is real. While we don't advocate that Santa brings them all their presents if they are good little girls, we don't completely ban Santa from our Christmas, either. Before you start thinking I'm this heartless woman who won't let her children believe in Santa, listen to the whole story, because that's not exactly true.

I must first give some background: growing up, as one of three children, I very fondly remember "playing" Santa. It was magical and fun, but I always knew that we were pretending and that Santa wasn't an actual person coming down our chimney bringing us presents. We played like we saw him in the sky on Christmas Eve as we drove home from family celebrations. Every Christmas morning - even through college - my older brother, younger sister and myself would wake up Mom and Dad by calling downstairs to them. Once we finally got them awake, we would have to wait at the top of the stairs while they "checked to see if Santa had come". It was always so much fun and I was never disappointed to find out that something/someone I had believed in wasn't real. All of my Christmas seasons were filled with magic, fun and excitement. We also had the blessing of knowing that Christmas is all about celebrating Jesus' birth and not just about getting presents.

So, with that in mind, I have always set out to make sure the girls know the reason for Christmas is to celebrate the greatest gift of all: Jesus. Santa is a fun thing that we pretend and he is based on a wonderful man named Saint Nicholas who started this tradition of giving gifts at Christmas, after the Wise Men's example. We always pretend like Santa stuffs the stockings, and bake cookies for him on Christmas Eve. And that has worked, ...for the past few years, ...until this year.

This year, Raegan, my very smart little girl, has been drilling me with questions regarding the reality of Santa since before Thanksgiving. I was thankful to be in the car with my mom today when she started another question session so that I could get my mom's opinion on how to handle her very direct questions. I asked her if we had ever drilled her like this and she said that we absolutely did not! She said she didn't think we were that smart...ha! This is my precious Raegan; always full of questions!!

She and her little sister had their picture taken with Santa today and Rae especially loved sitting on his lap telling him what she wanted for Christmas. He told her to be sure and leave out some carrots for Rudolph, and she was very quick to pass on this information to me. This got her thinking, however, ...if we pretend Santa, then who eats the cookies? Furthermore, if we pretend Santa, then why leave out carrots for a pretend Rudolph?

At one point (about 20 min. into this cumbersome conversation) Rae became very disillusioned with the whole discussion and began to cry a little to her self. Once we were home I asked her, in my most gentle voice, what was the matter. Her words broke my heart. My little one was standing in the back of my mom's bedroom looking at the picture she had just taken with Santa, and had a few tears running down her cheek. She said to me that Santa wasn't real to her and that she knew that people stuffed our stockings, not Santa; reindeer really don't fly.

................um, ..............HELP!!!!

I pulled my sweet girl to me, looked her in the eyes and told her what, I feel, was God-given at that moment. "Sweet heart, Mommy will never lie to you. The difference between Jesus and Santa is that Jesus is real whether you believe in him or not. That will never change. Santa, however, is only real if you believe in him. That's the magic of Christmas. If you don't believe in Santa, he isn't real. It's our belief in the spirit of Santa that makes him real, and the reindeer fly with Rudolph, and his shiny nose, leading the way. Do you think you have that magic in you, baby, to make Santa real this Christmas?" A big smile came over her face as she shook her head and said that she did, followed by a little laugh, like only Raegan can offer, that told me I had just done a pretty good job at explaining Santa without lying and without taking the focus off of the real reason we celebrate Christmas: Jesus.:) ......Whew!

I'm not sure if that will completely settle all future questions, but I sure hope it does! We're off to another magical Christmas season and I love it! Merry Christmas to you all!