Saying Goodbye

Life is certainly filled with many goodbyes, some harder than others. Most goodbyes mean, "I'll see you soon". Depending on who it is directed toward determines how difficult the delivery of such a message will be. For instance, when my girls have to say goodbye to their Marneaux or Mimi (grandmothers) after an extended visit, the delivery of said message is quite laboreous and dramatic! Tears are in no short supply. You can almost see knashing of teeth and ripping of sack cloth.......:) Essentially, the world comes to an end, in the moments this simple phrase: "bye, bye _________" is spoken.

Raegan started school this year at a local Montessori school. Each morning before Reece and I drop her off we pray together and ask the Lord to bless her day and her relationships. Goodbyes used to be a VERY difficult task for my Rae. However, I have now seen my little one get excited at the very word, as she starts out of the car toward her new friends. Goodbye has become a joyous expression on the mornings school is in session.

The older we get more goodbyes mean farewell, ushering in a significant change in a relationship or closure. These moments are ones that engrave themselves upon our spirits. We remember where we were and what we were doing. The snapshot of that moment is one that remains through the years. This simple phrase becomes much more difficult to utter when we are really saying "Farewell".

Over this holiday season we said goodbye to Gavin's beloved grandfather who had been sick for the past several years. Though saying farewell to a loved one is always difficult, there was a wonderful peace that accompanied this particular farewell. Because we live out of town, we were concerned Gavin may not be able to see his grandfather before he passed away. Thankfully, we were able to make it, which alone brought much relief.

As I watched Gavin leaning over his sleeping grandfather, stroking his head and whispering all that he had meant to Gavin throughout his life, how much he would miss him and how thankful he was for the positive impact he made in Gavin's life, I couldn't help but be moved. Gavin so hoped that his grandfather would awake and converse with him as he had for so many years. But I like to think that Gavin speaking into his dreams was the perfect way to say his farewell. I like to think that as his grandfather dreamt an angel appeared to him, speaking those words, or perhaps Gavin appeared to him in the form of the child he once adored and would strut around town with, buying coffee for him and talking to him as if he were a grown man and confident. However it took place, I am confident that Cly heard every word Gavin spoke and understood, and offered his own farewell to his beloved grandson.

Cly died a few days later. We weren't able to make it back for the funeral. The only sadness in that was not being there for Gavin's dad, who had a harder time than expected at the burial site. However, the peace of the farewell that had been exchanged a few days earlier still remains as we think back on Cly's life and the man he was. ...Some goodbyes bring a welcomed closure.

Some goodbyes are unexpected and not welcomed. They are disturbing and signify a loss, though it may not always be death, the relationship will never be the same. The only hope for these farewells is the restoring power of Christ. I experienced this very "farewell moment" for the first time eight years ago when we all found out that my dad had been having an affair and then again two years ago when their divorce was finalized. These farewells may not signify death but they certainly do signify a disturbing and unexpected change in a relationship. Too many share the experience of this farewell.

The goodbye that took place in this picture signifies the kind of closure that is certainly not welcomed. A few years ago we stopped purchasing live Christmas trees and opted for a pre-lit one instead - for several reasons. Unfortunately, it still resides in the basement of our Cambridge, MA home. So we went out and cut down our own tree this year. It was beautiful.

When the time came to take decorations down (a couple days after Christmas) Raegan, who had helped decorate this lovely tree, became VERY upset when she realized the tree would not be replanted and that it's fate was death......in the back yard forest........though we, of course, did not phrase it this way. She then began to mourn the loss of this tree. This picture is of her hugging the tree as she cries. This went on throughout the morning until I finally convinced Gavin to go ahead and take it out to the back. I mean, literally, for at least an hour she mourned the loss of this tree. ...Raegan bid the tree a noble farewell as we watched her daddy escort the tree to its final resting place.

Next year we will be planting a new tree as we discard the old one. I think the whole house will like that plan much better! We can make it a yearly Christmas tradition. ..or New year's tradition. Either way, that will be an exciting thing to do after we've taken down all the decorations and Christmas is over - a great way to give back to this beautiful land we've been given.