His Little Princess

This is the title of that great devotional mom bought for the girls. Tonight the devotional was about being a blessing to others. The letter from the King talked about helping mom when she's doing something, or helping a little brother or sister when they need help, and looking for other ways to be helpful and bless those around them. The prayer led the girls to ask for forgiveness for the times they didn't help when they should have, and for more opportunities to bless others.

Macy and Abi are spending the night at Marneaux's tonight, with us. They are all four lined up, length-wise in her bed. They each took turns saying their prayers. Macy's was very sweet. I was very impressed with how thoughtful she was and how tender her heart is.

Raegan went next. She always incorporates something from that evenings devotional in her prayer, which I love. She asked for God to please bring her daddy home safely and went ahead and thanked him for doing so. She asked God to forgive her for not helping her sister as much as she could have, "because sometimes I say, 'no Reece, you can't have that', and I say bad things", hand movements and all, "and I'm really sorry for that. Help me to be less selfish about myself":)

Then, she prayed for Macy....which sounds really sweet, but Gavin and I have had to explain on this trip, that Macy makes up a lot of stories, and Rae shouldn't believe everything she says. Like, for instance, she told Raegan that she crawled into her older brother, Hayes', back pack and went with him on his recent trip to Baltimore....:) It took many times of going through the logic of that claim to convince Rae that Macy made up that story and has a beautiful imagination, and if Rae wanted to pretend that was true it was fine with us, and a great thing to do, but just know it wasn't actually true....

So, Rae begins to pray that God will forgive Macy for lying, and that Macy will stop lying, and then says that God doesn't like it when we tell lies, "so, God please help Macy to stop telling lies". ....I felt like the moment suddenly went into slow motion as she kept saying the words "Macy" and "lies" over and over again. ...NOOOOO!!!!!! ...as Mom and I tried really hard to hold back our laughter and smiles, we let the girls finish their prayers. Abi went next and then Reece, both sweet and to the point.

After the prayers were over I quickly tried to nip the whole "Macy lies" thing in the bud by explaining that she wasn't lying ..really...just telling stories, and that she has a great imagination, just like each of the other girls.....hehehe (nervous laughter). To clarify: Rae wasn't mad about the whole "lying" thing, instead she was just very concerned for Macy, and thought she needed forgiving since Macy didn't ask to be forgiven on her own.

It was done with a very sweet heart, it just made me feel an inch tall, because we certainly didn't mean to imply that Macy was a liar. I think she was trying to be a blessing to others......:) The very funny thing is that Macy wasn't at all fazed by it:)!! They all love each other so innocently. It's a very sweet thing. ...I was sure to tell Macy how much I love her, and gave her extra hugs and kisses tonight, though, just in case.:)

(I'm trying to take pictures so I can upload them when we return home.)

10 years...

First, a short note to say that we are all in NC, staying with my mom and having a wonderful time! We are spending much of the day in the pool, and visiting with my family. My brother has two little girls the same ages as Raegan and Reece. They all love each other so much. We've tried to see them every day. Fun! We're going out on my uncle Ron's boat tomorrow, on lake Wylie!

The title of this blog is referring the fact that today, August 9th, is mine and Gavin's 10th wedding anniversary! Wow! I had no doubt, as we stood in Alexis Baptist church exchanging our vows, that we would celebrate this day, but had no idea, of course, all these 10 years would bring into our lives.

Gavin is traveling today, but he surprised me with a pedicure and manicure at my favorite spot, here in Cornelius. We've talked on and off throughout the day, and we'll be heading to Charleston, SC on Sunday, where we spent the first night of our honeymoon, the Vendue Inn. We are so excited. We'll be there through Wednesday. It's our first time back there in 10 years. (Elle will be with us because I'm still nursing, but Rae and Roo are staying with my mom)

I don't usually spend our anniversaries thinking about our wedding day. I think I'm usually too busy trying to make the day special. But with Gavin gone today, I had time to reflect on that really wonderful day. I was very blessed to kind of relive that blessed event.

Things I would change, first of all, to get it out of the way: THE DRESSES!!! All of them! I even designed those awful bridesmaids dresses, because I really wanted something extremely affordable, and something everyone could wear after the wedding was long over. Well, I seriously doubt if any of those dresses have ever again seen the light of day. They didn't quite turn out as I had envisioned, needless to say. I'm so sorry to all of my sweet bridesmaids who humored me and wore those dresses with smiles on your faces and without a single complaint.

I would also change my dress. UGH! I would go with something much more simple and definitely would loose that veil.

Enough of that.

The things I LOVED!! ...everything else. Really! I had so much fun on our wedding day. I loved everything about it. The moments that stick out to me the most are

...being in the back with my girls, listening to Drew, Drew, John and Sean sing "Emmanuel/Behold now the Kingdom" and lead the congregation in more worship. It was such a wonderful way to begin our marriage.

...Gavin having to stand on his tip toes to see me, over the people standing. It made me feel so special and beautiful to see his adoring eyes peeking over the crowd as I walked down the aisle.

...singing "Grace" by Wes King, to Gavin, after we had said our vows, and surprising him with it on the night of our rehearsal. I still remember how annoyed Gavin was when John started to play on his guitar, thinking that he was just playing around, until I began to sing and Gavin figured it out:)

...having Marty Dupree do our ceremony. He really brought so much humor and love to our ceremony.

...having the reception at our family home. We transformed our side yard with tents and a little dance floor, etc. It was a very special memory.

Over these 10 years the Lord has blessed us with three beautiful and strong girls. He has blessed me with a best friend, someone that challenges and excites me more than anyone I've ever known, a man that makes me feel beautiful, a friend that challenges me to be my best, an accountability partner who keeps me on my toes, someone who loves me and accepts me. I like who I am when I'm with Gavin. I love who we are and who we have become, as a couple. We have been blessed with a life filled with blessing and excitement.

Boston has left it's beautiful imprint on us, and now D.C., and N. Va are doing the same. Our lives have been blessed by moving when we felt pulled to move, giving up our comforts when we felt led to do so, surrendering our walls and being vulnerable with others seeking to build the Kingdom. Though we have survived some pretty tough knocks, whether by harming each other, or by others harming us, the Lord has been faithful to bring beauty from those ashes. I thank you, Lord, for every one. You are so good! You have redeemed us. You have restored us. We are a living testimony of your abundant love.

I pray for 50+ more years of life with Gavin, filled with the will to do and go wherever you lead us. I pray for your protection over our family; for long, healthy lives spent building your Kingdom. I pray for cups that overflow with blessing onto our families, friends and others around us. I pray that we would be known by our love, and that you would be glorified.

Thank you, Lord, for these 10 years. You are so good and I am so thankful!

What a fun day!

I wish that I had some pictures to post here to prove the fun we had, but unfortunately our hands were a little full to remember the camera. We had such a wonderful day today, filled with lots of fun. Our wonderful friends, Sammy and Renee, had a short retreat to attend this morning, so we kept their children, Ellie and Patrick.

They arrived around 9:00ish. After we had a light breakfast, we headed out to the Fairfax County park (over by the Water Mine) to see a very cute puppet show. It was so cute!!! We all really enjoyed ourselves.

Once we were finished there, we headed to Starbucks for a very quick stop - Gavin needed some caffeine before it got any later. Then, back to the Water Mine we went. The kids were so great, and we had a wonderful time. Patrick stuck with Gavin most of the time but really came out of his shell toward the end. Ellie and Roo stuck together the whole time. They are very cute buddies. Rae was a great mother hen to all of them and also ventured out on her own to explore the bigger, more challenging slides (while Gavin and Patrick stood close by) I had Elle in my arms and stayed within arms length of Ellie and Roo. They all did an amazing job!

The time flew by! Before we knew it, it was almost 2:00, when Renee was due to pick up the kids. We grabbed a quick bite to eat (the kids had been snacking the whole time we were at the park), and then headed to home. Renee was there waiting on us.

We had a wonderful time together and all the kids did such a great job listening and being respectful and looking out for each other. Gavin and I couldn't help but look around at how well we were handling five children....wasn't bad at all....completely do-able.......maybe.....who knows?:)

The rest of the day was spent cleaning the house, a Saturday tradition to prepare for Sabbath, which is very enjoyable. I know that sounds crazy, to enjoy cleaning, but we all have our individual chores and work together, even the girls, and that makes it fun. Next, we all take baths and get dressed up for dinner. We had a super yummy Sabbath dinner and enjoyed being together as a family. What a fun day!!

Oh, and Roo got her ears pierced yesterday! I can't believe it! She's such a big girl. Reece is very proud of herself and her newly transformed ears. I'll try to get a picture of that soon.

Rethinking the Cross

I am ashamed to say so, but in thinking about the cross, and John 3:16, I've always kind of compared it to getting a spanking as a child. "God so loved the world that He gave His only Son", was like, "You know I hate spanking you; this hurts me more than it hurts you". I'm sorry. ....It's absolutely horrible, I confess. I've never admitted that to anyone before, ever.

BUT, a few weeks ago, I was holding Eliot, watching her so innocently sleeping in my arms, and things became a little clearer. I was thinking about how greatly I love this little baby, who's personality is only beginning to form, and then my thoughts suddenly turned toward the cross. I started listening, as if I were in an audience. A rush of humility came over me.

It has always been true that I am a protector. I am fierce when it comes to protecting those I love, whether it be my family, friends, or children of my friends. I would MUCH rather put myself out there than to have anyone I love be in harm's way. If you asked me to defend those I love I have no doubt I would be there and do whatever it took. I would fight until there was no more fight in me.

However, if you told me I would have to sacrifice someone I loved, greater still, one of my beloved children ......quite frankly, I would tell you to go to ....., um, I would use very ugly words and punch you in the face. Sorry to be so harsh, but I can't communicate passionately enough that, there's just no way I could allow it. This is where my logic previously stopped. I secretly judged God for not sacrificing himself, instead of His son. I always kind of felt sorry for Jesus, as I do for children whose parents use that lame line, just before setting their buns on fire. (although, as a parent, I do understand the meaning behind this over-used cliche, but come on!!!)

As I held Eliot in my arms, I thought about my intense love for her. I thought how God loves her even more than I have ever imagined loving her. ...my thoughts continued down this path: if God loves Elle that much, then He must love Jesus, His own son, even more. ...God must love Jesus more than anything. ....He loves Jesus more than He loves himself. The most precious thing to Him, is His son.

When it comes to sacrifice, my most prized possession isn't my life, ..it's Eliot's, and Raegan's, Reece's, and Gavin's. I love you enough to sacrifice myself, but I don't love you enough to sacrifice my most prized possessions...not even one. I don't love anyone that much.

God does, and He did.

whoa! ..blown away.

I, for the first time, understood that it would have been so much easier for Him to sacrifice himself, rather than to watch His most prized possession be unappreciated, ..lied about, ..mistreated, ..abused, ..ultimately murdered. I KNOW that is nothing I could do. I just couldn't, but I am so thankful He did.

Thank you, Lord, for letting your grace be great when it comes to this punk, ignorant, arrogant child, who thinks she knows something about the Father you are or aren't. I praise you, Lord for your mercy in not striking me dead as I secretly mocked your enormous sacrifice. Please forgive me.

You are so good, Lord. You are so good to me. Thank you for your patient love that never gives up, despite my rebellious spirit. Thank you for loving me, ...really loving me. I am completely humbled.

Gavin is home!

After jet-setting for a few days around the.... ugh hum, a couple of states, Gavin, the rock star, has returned home!! We are all very, very excited about his highly anticipated return.

Those of you who know me well, know that I find it an occasional challenge to overcome the temptation of fear. I was, so tempted, this week while Gavin was away. My mom recently gave the girls the most adorable princess devotional book which we read each night. The devotional has one page with a letter from their King, and the other page has a prayer from the princess' perspective relating to the letter. It is so precious! Really! At first I was afraid it would be too cheesy, but it isn't at all. It's wonderful. I'll get the exact name, if you're interested.

But back to my temptation; The first day Gavin was gone the devotional was about not being afraid. ..very good, and appropriate since this was also the night that Leslie died (in Terabithia), and the power went out for a moment. The second night was about how to handle disappointment, loosing loved ones, etc. Okay, the devotional was great, but a little too much for me to handle as my husband still had a plane, and cab ride to survive before he would be home.

Normally, my mind would begin racing assuming that God was preparing me for some awful event. ...it doesn't take too grand an imagination to figure out where my mind was tempted to go... I spent much of the night thanking the Lord for loving me. I, praise the Lord, was able to focus on his love for me, for Gavin and for our family long enough to usher in that sublime peace that passes all understanding. Though I am still fully aware that "bad things happen to good people", I am content to focus on just trying to trust in the One that I know loves me and has a future for me. Hopefully, I am beginning a good habit!:)

Thank you, Lord for bringing Gavin home safely.