Sorry for the King James wording.....it just seems appropriate for my current state. I've just been reading my friend's blogs and am so encouraged. Whether it's celebrating healthy and happy marriages, sharing God's blessing over different ministries, sharing menus for the week, or sharing time with children...I'm reminded of how blessed we are, and how blessed I am for these friendships.
Gavin and I had a challenging week this past week. [because of the sensitivity of the matter I can't talk about the details.] We took a huge hit. I've talked before about needing our home in Cambridge to sell because we really can't afford to keep it. We were hoping for the bonus to get us current on our mortgage, among other things.
Because I am a lover of justice, this is hard to swallow. We have a great Realtor in Cambridge and we're getting a lot of traffic, but no offer yet. We are having to come to grips with the fact that we may loose that home to foreclosure.
In light of all that, I can honestly say that Gavin and I are completely at peace. Not only are we still joyful, but we're actually happy. Don't get me wrong...we're NOT happy about the possibility of losing our home. We are happy to be right in the palm of our Lord's hand. We truly believe that He is good and has good things for us. He has provided for us over and over and over again. He is faithful. So what if we loose our home in Cambridge?! For the first time in five years, I can actually say that without cringing. I know the Lord has plans to prosper us and not to harm us - He has lovingly and graciously proven Himself, though He didn't have to.
Confession: The Lord has brought me a LONG way as I re-read what I just wrote. The old Emily (not so long ago) would have been angry about this injustice, not just at Imperial but also at God for allowing these injustices. Though it is shameful to admit, I confess that for those who may also struggle with feeling anger toward God over injustice.
Though the Lord has used many things to gently change my heart, (including a sermon from Pastor Dave, Cambridge Vineyard, New Years sermon 2004 - that totally rocked my world - challenging us to truly "give thanks in EVERY circumstance") the most recent reinforcement has been from "The Shack":
God speaking:
"The real underlying flaw in your life, [Emily], is that you don't think that I am good. If you knew I was good and that everything - the end, the means and all the processes of individual lives - is all covered by my goodness, then while you might not always understand what I am doing, you would trust me. But you don't."
Lord, I know that you are good! I trust you. You are worthy of all praise, glory and honor, and you are certainly worthy of my trust - especially when I don't understand your ways. Have mercy on me. Thank you for your love, grace and peace that passes all understanding. Thank you for this season of special dependence on you! Please sell our home in Cambridge.
My cup overflows! Blessed be your name, O Lord!
3 comments:
Thanks for the update. I know it must be disappointing.
Oh, how I love reading into your life. We gain so much from just knowing that others struggle and rise above. You encourage me, Emily.
Thank you for not losing heart. Thank you for resting in God's provision for your life. I enjoy you so much.
I think that sometimes we forget that as Christians we are promised that we will suffer. I know our sufferings don't compare to Pauls or to Christain martyrs overseas, but we do face trials that can be counted as suffering. We can "rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character, and character hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit whom he has given us." It sounds to me like you are growing in perseverance, character and hope. I rejoice with you "And the God of all Grace who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." I love you and hope you don't lose your home. I'm thankful to see how God is working in your life because of it.
Emily,
Our family has been praying for you all not to lose your home for the past couple of nights.
I think you have good insight into the deeper issues with anger. There have been times when I have been angry about something and then struggled over either thinking that God is sovereign and just must not care, or He really is not sovereign, and then realizing that I'm just angry with Him because I didn't get something I wanted. I love the Matt Redmond song- "You give and take away, my heart will chose to say, Lord blessed be your name."
I know this whole thing with your house is in His sovereign and loving hands. Thanks for your post and your authenticity.
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