Update full of Random information

(from a note I wrote to Nick giving him an update on the family happenings)

Athena and I decided to take the kids to Busch Gardens....by ourselves! CRAZY! As a VA resident you can buy a ticket for $56 and use it all summer long. We first used our tickets in May and this was our attempt to get the most out of our money. We got two hotel rooms for one night and went to the park for two days. The first day was a little rough, getting the hang of it, but the second day was very nice. The kids had a blast! We're going to try to go back again before the end of summer.

We got a LOT of looks with our eight children. I get a lot of looks having FOUR children! People stop me and inform me that I have too many children - always men:) Women give me lots of ooohhs and aaahhhhs...men actually blurt out profanities...it's pretty funny! I had one man walk by me and say "no more! They're cute, but no more". Of course Gavin is never with me when this happens - usually just me with the girls - so I'm sure they must assume I'm this out of control, horny, single mom who is too irresponsible to take birth control. It's pretty funny.

Eliot Katherine is amazing. She sings her ABC's and can count to 20. She loves Kung Fu Panda right now!! Elle is so smart. There isn't a single day that goes by that Gavin and I are not amazed...literally. She recently lost her little pink baby bear. We can't find him anywhere. We've all looked every place we can think of and nothing. She was without him for over a week when I bought a new one - bigger and brown - looks nothing like her other one. Jenny and I were together when I got him. We put him in her arms while she slept and she woke up the next morning with him, and in love!! We told her that baby bear sent his cousin, Barry, to be with her while he was gone. She said for a while that baby bear was in school, but yesterday she told mom, out of the blue, that she lost him.....:( Elle really loves her new "baby bear" though - so I'm very happy about that.

Reece - Roo loved VBS this year and it got her thinking about school. She's VERY excited about starting Kindergarten. We'll take a tour of the school and find out who her teacher is in late August. She'll be going to Great Falls Elementary, like Rae did for K. She's so beautiful and has such a great personality. I'm taking her out on a date this week while we're at mom's.

Oh yes, I forgot to tell you that I decided since we were already in the southern part of VA that I would go ahead and drive to mom's for a visit. We're here for the next week and then meeting the Blake's at the beach. Gavin is going to take the train down to meet us here and drive over with us to the beach. We're all very excited about that!

Mom had stints put in two major arteries at her heart last week, to everyone's surprise. One artery was 100% blocked and had started it's own bypass called collateralls (sp?) and the other was 95% blocked. They said she was a walking time bomb. Thankfully, they were able to completely open up the one blocked 95% and the other they are treating with medication since it was already starting to take care of itself. She's completely changing her diet, too. She's still staying away from carbs, but no more fatty meats. She's doing well.

Raegan is doing great. She's very dramatic, as usual. The Lord has brought her some great friends from school and she's excited about getting into her year of 2nd grade/French Immersion. She really enjoyed VBS this year, also. She told me that she wants to be a missionary and has talked about it often since. I can definitely see her doing that. She lost both of her front teeth. They are already starting to come in again. We think she's come pretty close to kicking the whole sucking her fingers thing....fingers crossed.

Sutton is changing so quickly. I had to stop nursing her because she was reacting so badly to my milk. I gave up dairy, which helped a little, but her little tummy was still all torn up. She's doing great on formula. It was hard for me to give up because it was just so outside of what I expected....consistent with her so far. I'm definitely having to surrender all expectations when it comes to this little one! She is such a good baby, though, and I'm crazy about her.

Gavin and I are doing great. He's still my best friend and there is no one I would rather be around than him. We are celebrating our 12th anniversary this next week (August 9th)!!

There has been a stirring among Gavin, Jenny and myself lately. We feel a new season coming that will require even more sacrifice. We have no idea what is around the corner but we are trusting in the one that does know. We know, and declare, that He is a good father who knows how to give good gifts and we trust Him. We just want to be about His business.... I've gone through my checklist, personally, and I know that all I have is His and is in His hands. I hold every blessing he has given me with open hands. I'm so thankful for every day I have with my precious blessings, but I know they are His.

I'm anticipating normalcy once school begins. In the mean time, we're out enjoying this summer! I hope you all are, too!
much love,
em

Single handed...

Th phrase "single handedly" conjures up thoughts of great accomplishment, usually. It most recently, however, describes the way I'm having to type...which may explain why I'm not doing much of it lately. As I type this, single handedly, Sutton is sleeping in my arms. She's such a cutie!

So, to keep this short, we're doing well. Sweet T is on a three hour cycle, with one four hour gap at night. The girls are all still amazing with her, especially Reece. Rae finishes up 1st grade next week. They don't get out until the 18th - does that seem really late or is it just me?! She loves the French immersion program and will be returning next year.

Jenny is home, asof the 1st of June. We're thrilled to have her home!!

The Woodson family is still living with us, but we are very hopeful about some recent developments. Please pray for clarity, healing, redemption, and wisdom in this situation if the Lord lays it on your heart.

Nick is practically engaged to a girl we love, Traci, and having an amazing time on the World Race through AIM (Adventures in Missions). He plans to marry her when he gets home at the of the year! He has lived with us for the past three years and we're so proud of him!

Mom comes up next week for a long visit!! We can't wait! Then we'll be heading down to NC for a visit. I LOVE summer!!

pictures coming soon...

Keeping it Cool

I'll be back soon with more pictures and updates, but in the mean time enjoy this faux-mercial...I think it's hilarious!!

Roo's new haircut and Sutton

I had been promising Reece since January (when I cut Rae's hair) that I would cut her hair shorter. I LOVE the girls with long hair, so I've been stalling.... Until this week, when Reece went to sleep, undetected, with some Easter gum and woke up with it in her hair. I'm sure I could have probably gotten it out with much work, but decided it was a good time to deliver on my promise. I love her new cut, and so does she. It suits her - cute and fun!

The other pictures are of the girls with Sutton. They (We) are all still very smitten with our little Sutton. She is precious.

Sutton Vian

Pictures!!!

The beginning of this year was a big one for Reece. You'll see pics of her getting ready for surgery. She had her tonsils and adenoids removed. (difficult recovery but major blessing!!) We also celebrated her 5th birthday. She had a little celebration with her Montessori Country School class, and a tea party at our home. I also threw in pictures of our extended family having prayer time together, and a few random pics of Elle and Rae. Oh, and the one with us wearing shower caps is when we were fighting off lice....not fun.

It's been a BIG year already! I'm looking forward to seeing what the Lord will do with the rest of 2009. Now that I have my cord back I'll try to be more regular with pics - for you Mom!!

One last note: We celebrated Elle's 2nd bday, but incredibly I don't have any pics of the event!! ....heart sinking.... We had a small family celebration for her. She's so precious and full of life. I just love that girl!! Maybe mom has some pics of the evening...

Over the Initial Shock

Well, last night was much better. I guess I just needed to get over the initial shock of the recovery process. Thank you, Daphne, for your much needed encouragement! I really appreciate hearing from "those that have gone before me"...

Sutton is such a doll. The girls are all still doing wonderfully with her. They can't get enough of their new baby sister. Elle is such a great big sister already. Reece is a constant - so caring and nurturing. Rae is on top of everything baby, but is still very focused on what she happens to be doing - whatever that may be.

I had a wonderful visit with my dear friend, Meridith, today. She came over and just held Sutton while I napped. Mer knows how to love, especially love on me, and I'm so blessed to have her friendship. She came bearing many gifts - for the girls, she brought crafts, which they loved; for Sutton, she brought three adorable outfits; for me, a bag of goodies: relaxing shampoo and conditioner, the latest and greatest mascara to look fresh, almonds for added protein (did I forget to say they were covered in chocolate......;), and several other thoughtful and fun things. I'm so blessed.

Gavin took Raegan and Reece to the Easter vigil service at the Church of Ascension and St. Agnes, in D.C. - where our dear friends, Sammy and Renee, serve. Father Sam, I should say, is one of the priests there. It's an amazing service - so special. Gavin says it's his favorite service of the entire year. I agree. It's long (2 1/2hrs), but so worth it. The girls got all dressed up in their Easter dresses, and Gavin wore his nice suit and bow tie. They all looked beautiful/handsome. I'll be sure to take lots of pictures tomorrow.

I LOVE Easter! What an amazing season, and what an amazing God we serve.

Happy Easter, everyone!!

In Need of Advice!!!

Oh my goodness, last night was hard!! C-section recovery is WAY worse than vaginal. Sutton was having a hard night - not a big deal, except that I couldn't get to her. I couldn't sit up, roll over, barely move without help.

HELP!!!! I need some advice from those of you who have had C-sections. Advice? Tips? Words of wisdom?

I'm so spoiled to being able to come home and just take care of the baby...which is a big challenge by itself. I'm NOT used to not being able to do that very well. This is quite different.

I'm all ears.

Counting my Blessings

I have so much to be thankful for, as I sit here in my room. Gavin is wrestling with Elle on our bed; Marno is braiding Raegan's hair; Reece is walking around brushing her hair having just had a bath; Sutton is sleeping (I'm not sure how) in her cradle; and Mimi is watching it all smiling. This is our first day home since we left on Monday for the hospital.

I definitely envisioned this moment, but could never have anticipated all that would take place from Monday until now...

Reader's digest version: I started having contractions Monday morning around 7:30, called Gavin and asked him to come on home from work around lunch time, headed into the doctor's office and found out that my water had been broken for days (a small pin hole leak), and checked into the hospital by 1:30. After intense labor for 5hrs and no progress, and seeing that the baby was in distress, the doctor determined that I would have to have a c-section. Minutes later I found myself in the operating room. Sutton Vian was born at 6:11pm. ...it was very surreal, and strange, and surprising.

As I've reflected on all that happened, my heart has caught up with my head and I'm so thankful. It would be untruthful to say that I wasn't a little disappointed about not having a boy, or that having a c-section wasn't a sad thing for me. I knew at the time that the most important thing was getting the baby out safely and that having a c-section was NOT a big deal - with tears streaming down my face, it was clear that my heart wasn't there.

I've said from the beginning of this pregnancy that I had released the desire to have a boy. I really do trust the Lord and His divine wisdom in the make-up of our family. I completely want whatever He wants for our family. ...but in these last few weeks I had started to hope for a boy. When I heard we had just given birth to a girl I knew that was God's divine wisdom and was thankful for a healthy baby girl - but my heart wasn't there.

Gavin is amazing. He's so thrilled with our little girl. I know how much he wanted a boy, and yet he is truly thrilled, and content with all our girls. He is so happy.

I talked to my friend, Meredith, the next day and told her that my heart was having a hard time catching up with what I knew to be true. She loves me, and encouraged me to remember that hormones had a lot to do with that, but I knew there was something more. After hanging up the phone, I took a deep breath and started counting my blessings. I haven't stopped since...

The Lord lovingly reminded me of something I already knew. When we had Raegan we were told that I have an inverted pelvic bone. That not only makes the birthing process extremely painful, but also extremely difficult. Raegan, Reece and Eliot were all smaller babies than Sutton. She was over a pound bigger than Elliot, the biggest of the three. Sutton would never have made it through my body.

God is good. I have an inverted pelvic bone and yet I have four babies, three of which made it through my body without major surgery. That is amazing.

God is good. We have four beautiful girls. Raegan is our thinker, Reece is our care-giver, Eliot is our activist, and Sutton is our peace maker. That is amazing. I'm so excited to see how they each develop and grow in their relationships with the Lord, each other, and in these gifts they've been given.

Sutton is precious. She has such a sweet disposition. She's dreamy. My heart is full. I'm so thankful. The girls are beside themselves with excitement. Eliot loves her baby sister. She's already very proud of her. They can't hold Sutton enough.

God is so good. I have SO much to be thankful for, and I am. Thank you all for your loving encouragement.

(I found the cord for my camera and will be uploading pictures tonight!! stay tuned:))

To the Three

This is a letter I just finished writing to the three men the Lord used to bring redemption to our marriage nine years ago. It was 4:00 in the morning when I began writing, awoken with this on my heart...

To Jon, Jeremy and Stephen,

I find my cup overflowing with thankfulness for the three of you, as I'm awoken this Tuesday morning. I've heard Gavin say on multiple occasions that had the three of you patted him on the back that dark October night in 2000, and told him not to feel bad - everything was going to be okay, that the two of us would most likely not be where we are today. Through your love the Lord brought redemption to our marriage that we continue to walk out - that night.

I always dreamed of having a husband that was a spiritual leader, loved me and our children - but truly, I never imagined a husband and father as amazing as Gavin is, and is continuing to become. I was flipping through one of the random bibles we have lying around the house in the middle of the night recently and was led to Hebrews... it was the very bible that Gavin had used during those three days of death. It was marked up with red pen and at one point a line was drawn to the bottom of the page, pointing to words he had written, "I am an adulterer". My heart sank and at the same time was overwhelmed with thankfulness. It sank because my heart hurt for the man that wrote those words, in great pain and revelation, and was overwhelmed because that is not the man I am married to anymore...nor have been since that day.

In our current community we are dealing with a need for church discipline. We have gotten a LOT of push back. There is a severe lack of understanding where church discipline is concerned. Too many are focused on the Grace of our Lord Jesus and fail to realize that very grace is not extended unless there is repentance. The prayer of my heart is that the Lord would rise up His body to come around this family in need. He is stirring, and has been for some time. We're so thankful to see all that He is doing - but this family hangs over a flaming fire that is hungry to devour it... Though the mom and her four children are living with us, and have been since January, we had no previous relationship with them. Gavin has done his part faithfully, but the Body is what is needed and sorely lacking. Church discipline, done properly and led by the Spirit, has almost completely disappeared from our current religious structure - this is the most damning aspect of the modern "church".

I praise the Lord everyday, but especially recently, for the way He covered us during that pivotal season in our marriage. That we were NOT left out to dry; that we had intimate relationships around us and men that cared enough about Gavin not to let him loose everything; that were led by the Spirit; that saw church discipline as mercy instead of "judgment", (righteous anger as loving instead of condemning - that yelled at him, and loved him in the same breathe). I know who my Redeemer is, but I also know who He used that night and the three days to follow.....and I'll never forget it.

Our marriage was dead for three days, and on the third day resurrected and given new life. This Easter season, I'm reminded of the One who made that possible, and the one's he choose to use. I love you, my brothers.

The Christ in me sees the Christ in you,
em

Reece is FIVE!!!

We celebrated our precious Reece's 5th birthday this week. It is truly hard to get my mind wrapped around the fact that she is five years old! Wow.

What a precious little one, she is. Gavin and I are ever amazed at her thankful and appreciative heart. She's always quick to say thank you. Reece truly appreciates everything she has. We were talking tonight about how many times she has thanked us for her little party on Saturday, or her gift, or....you name it.

We hosted her 5th birthday party at our house this year. My friend, Linda, gave me a great idea to only have a big party on the special birthdays...like 5, 10, 13, 16, 18 - I LOVE this idea. The other years will just be family dinners with cake and a few balloons. (I can't have a birthday go down in my house without at least a dozen balloons....I'm just sayin')

It was a tea party/brunch theme, with white hats and gloves and all the trimmings. Because several of the little girls commented on how they didn't like tea, or their mommy said they couldn't have tea, the beverage of choice was apple juice which we pretended was tea. We also had an assortment of scones and breads.

The big expense was having a face painter come and treat the girls. This was not part of the original plan, but after having missed out on a face painting opportunity a few weeks ago, I decided to check on the rates for a private party. It was a little pricey, but since it was our only major expense for the party we were able to justify it. The girls loved it.

Tuesday was her actual birthday and we celebrated at Don Pablos...our birthday place for some reason. Everyone likes it. Reece wore the little sombrero and opened presents from family.

Today her teacher, Mrs. Rouse, did her special observance of Reece's birthday. She tells a story about the birthday child every year....it is so precious. Reece felt so special. We passed out mini cupcakes and fruit to everyone. It was a big hit.

So, Reece has pretty successfully carried on the "Brown girl" bday tradition: subconsciously stretch out your bday celebration for as long as you possibly can! Yay, Reece!

I'm still looking for my cord to be able to upload pictures. ....coming soon.

What I LOVE about Reece:
hilarious!
fashion-ista
trend setter
confident
sweet
beautiful
smart
ingenuitive
creative
artistic
strong
thankful heart
loving
nurturing
mischievous (at times)
aspiring musician
humble
servant's heart

I love my Reece EmmaKay. Thank you, Lord, for this precious and priceless gift. I know that she is Yours, but I'm SO thankful to be with her as she grows into the amazing little woman you have created her to be. Bless her and keep her. May your face shine upon her. Please fill her with purpose that she may live a life worthy of the calling you have placed on her. And give her peace forever.

Thank you, Lord, for Reece!!

Church Discipline

I've been studying this topic today because we are dealing with an issue that requires such action. As I've been studying the passages that apply, and reading articles from church leaders throughout time, I'm struck with a righteous anger.

It occurs to me that the absence of church discipline may possibly be the leading cause of the rising divorce rate within the Christian community.

I want to repeat that: The absence of CHURCH DISCIPLINE may be the LEADING cause of the RISING DIVORCE RATE WITHIN THE CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY.

Church discipline has gotten a bad reputation throughout the years due to either not being done according to the biblical guidelines or using it for the purpose of excommunication. The purpose of church discipline is NOT for excommunication. It is for the purpose of RESTORATION and RECONCILIATION! Excommunication can be a consequence of church discipline, but even that is still for the purpose of ultimate restoration and reconciliation.

My mom fought through over six years of submitting herself to my dad (six years of him lying about his affairs, being caught, becoming violent towards her, etc.) - literally laying down her life, her rights, her dignity - for his salvation. The church never stepped in and enacted church discipline. Why?!!! My dad was a deacon! My mom was a teacher. They were both very active in the church. Everyone knew my family. It's not like we were just some family that attended some local congregation.

The church turned it's back on it's responsibility to discipline my dad and their marriage was, therefore, given over to the enemy. It's been 10 and half years since that nightmare began, and we are all still dealing with the aftermath.

How common is this?! I shutter to think about the answer to that question.

What are we doing Church?! How many more marriages and families will we hand over to the enemy?! Let it not be, oh Lord! Have mercy on your church, and let it not be!! Rise up, CHURCH! What has the Lord required of you? To DO justly, LOVE mercy, and WALK humbly with the Lord your God. Rise UP!!

There are many interesting articles I found during my study. Here is one from bible.org regarding the reason, benefit, spirit behind and process of church discipline. Here is another article by Al Mohler that I found insightful.

Looking for the Profound...and coming up short

I've had the desire to blog lately but not the revelation.... I find myself avoiding laundry, taking advantage of little moments with Elle, driving the girls back and forth to school, catching up on emails, thinking about what I need for the new little one's arrival, cooking dinner, cleaning up after dinner...functioning.

There are some activities that transcend "functioning", namely our prayer times. I love our prayer times every night. Those are such sweet times together as a whole family. No matter how chaotic the day (or the 30min. just before) has been, our prayer time always ushers in such a powerful blanket of peace over the house. Each night looks different, but each night is special.

Things are still going well with our added family members. Brandon is very much so entering into adolescence. He's a smart kid. He's also a special boy - he has a special place in Gavin's heart, but it's still a challenge. Each of the children are special, in their own way, and we're so thankful to be a part of their lives.

I'm trying to balance raising our girls with the high standards we've always had for them and at the same time ease the other children into knowing what to expect. We have to have the same standards for all the children - there is no other option, but we do expect it to be a process...

We're finishing our second month together and all the children are doing wonderfully. It's not easy, but it is worth it. Brandon is a typical big brother - picking on all the girls (especially Rae - she seems to attract this kind of attention...apple having not fallen far from tree...). Raegan and Kaira play great together and are great buds. Reece and Gia are two peas in a pod. They get along beautifully and are also great friends. Elle loves Justice and tries to take great care of him.....tries being the optimal word there.... She also loves playing with all the big kids. There is no way to convince this one she's only two...(in a few weeks).

Athena, their mom, is tired, but doing well. She longs for this to all be over. Please pray for her.

(All the children are in bed by 8:00, at the latest, and "adult time" begins:)) Our evenings are spent either catching up on TiVo, laughing together (we have lots of laughter in our home), praying together, counseling each other, making treats once the children have all gone to bed - a kid's worst nightmare!!, but all of it is just living life together.

I want to paint a realistic picture. I hope I have. Bottom line is that we need prayer for wisdom and insight, peace, and health. But, living in community is something Gavin and I have been designed for and we can't imagine life looking any different. We covet your thoughts and prayers. We love you, dear friends.

Valentine's Day

The gift my husband has given me this year is priceless!! I'm sitting in bed watching The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, reading friend's blogs....and hiding for a few hours. Yay!!

I do also have a sleeping baby here beside me (Justice) and Eliot unplugging and re-plugging my computer. She's being very quiet so as not to wake Justice.

We're going to dinner tonight. I'm really looking forward to hanging out with my boy.

Elle just found my coffee from this morning (grinning over the top of the rim at me). She's currently going through my bedside table drawers.

Athena and I surprised the kids this morning with lots of red heart balloons and goodie bags, with Miles Davis playing in the background. They loved it.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Eliot Katherine

I have the rare blessing of being home alone with my dearest little Elle for a few hours this morning. She delights me.

Here are a few words that describe her:
Confident
Independent
Love-bug
Tease
Smart
Helpful
Funny
Ingenuitive
Curious
Strong
Fiesty
Beautiful
Extraordianary
Delightful
Precious
Great singer
Big girl

She started sleeping in the big bed with Reece a few nights ago and hasn't skipped a beat. I sent her up for her nap yesterday and by the time I got up there (maybe two minutes later) she was already asleep. The queen bed she and Reece share looked enormous with her little body right in the middle of it.

One of my greatest joys is hearing her sing in the car, at the top of her lungs. She knows almost every song that plays on our local Christian radio station. .....ah, what a blessing. I can't even begin to explain how beautiful it is. I pray I never forget that sound.

I can't believe how quickly she is growing up. Elle is such a joy. I'm amazed by her daily.

Thank you, Lord, for your many blessings. You are good - whether I see it or not - but I'm so thankful for the way you reveal Your goodness through Raegan, Reece and Elle. You are good, Lord. Not to us, but to your Name be the glory!

I'm Back!

So much has happened since I last blogged and much to talk about. I'll try to be brief.

First, Jenny and Nick left for their trip on January 3rd. We've heard from them several times and they are doing great. Please keep them in your prayers. If you're curious here is Jen's website, and here is Nick's website.

Reece had her tonsils and adenoids removed the first week of January. We were having them removed because of sleep apnea, but found out after they were removed that they were actually rotting inside of her little body!!! What a HUGE blessing to have had them removed before she had any complications. Though she did BEAUTIFULLY before the surgery and during, the recovery was very difficult. It took a solid month before she was back to herself. The apnea was gone the first night, but she was in so much pain. I'm not a great nurse as it is........by day 10 I was over it. We made it through and she is back to her sweet, adorable self!! Praise the Lord!!

Finally, for the year that Nick is gone my friend, Athena, and her four children are living with us. Athena has been through a nightmare with her husband, Damion. It's such a long story and crazy. I wouldn't believe it were I not there to witness it myself. The Lord is definitely moving and we have seen so much fruit.

Brandon is 10, Kaira is 7, Giana is 4, and Justice is 7 months old. They are precious. (pictures to follow soon)

We run a really tight ship but the Woodson children have fallen in line beautifully and love their new routine. We all have dinner by 6:30pm, everyone pitches in to clean the kitchen, wipe down the table and sweep. Next we have prayer time together around 7:15 (which is so precious - our worship time together is even more wonderful with them here.). Everyone is in their rooms by 8:00 at the latest. They know that anything after that is getting into adult time and that is NOT taken lightly.

Every other weekend the kids go with their dad, as well as, dinner every Wednesday from 5 - 7pm. The transition times are always difficult. The kids never want to go with their dad, though they love him very much, and they always come back a little confused and disoriented - especially Brandon.

We have been under a lot of attack - spiritually and physically, but we have also been so blessed, overwhelmed with His blessing! The kids all get along so beautifully and play very sweetly together. We have family meetings and talk about any issues that arise on a weekly basis. We have also allow the kids to plan activities for the month to come. As a result this coming Valentine's weekend is a BIG one! Friday night we'll be bowling. Saturday morning is breakfast at IHOP. Monday is ice skating at Reston Town Center..... whew! They are so excited and we're all looking forward to treating them to a fun weekend, as well.

Prayer requests right now:
Peace that passes all understanding - we've been so blessed with an abundance of peace and pray that it continues - despite the chaotic storm the Woodson's are in.
Health - It's hard enough to be submitted to the Spirit when you feel great, much less when there is sickness...
Healing and Redemption - for the Woodson family.
Protection - Gavin is very much on the front lines of the spiritual battle going on around us.

(The pregnancy is going well. I'm very tired this time through. I haven't felt great the entire time, though I do have days where I feel like myself. I feel a lot of closure this time. We are in NO way closing the door on more children (we've talked about adoption before we had Raegan), but I do feel like I have "permission" for this to be my last pregnancy. I have a lot of peace about it. Also, this is either Sutton Vian or Judah Patrick Gavin - it's official:))

much love, dear friends. Thank you for your love and concern - and especially your prayers.