Rae lost her first tooth!

Hi everyone! The big announcement of the day is that Raegan Elizabeth Long has officially lost her first tooth! She couldn't be happier with herself!! and we're all very happy for her. Enjoy the picture of her one-tooth-less smile!

It's Comin' on Christmas...

We have been enjoying this Christmas season immensely:) Christmas music plays as long as we're home, which is just lovely. Our house has been decorated since the day after Thanksgiving, and I'm so inspired as I look around the room. Also, this year we have begun a new family tradition. We're officially celebrating Advent.

I'm so happy to have incorporated this into our family culture. My mom always had us celebrate Advent in our home. I have such fond memories of this festivity. It's also a wonderful way to keep our focus on Christ's birth being the reason we celebrate Christmas, and be tied in to the historical catholic (meaning universal) church. We have so enjoyed the weeks of anticipation and expectation as we look forward to Christ's birth. The girls look forward to it every night! (It's so easy to do and makes a huge impact. I highly encourage you to look into it, if you're not already observing Advent, even more so if you have children.)

We made some baskets of goodies and went Christmas caroling last week, to a local assisted living center, and our neighbors. Our neighbors didn't know what to think and only one of them actually opened the door.......quite different from the poor neighborhoods we caroled in growing up where they were completely delighted to have carolers at their door. But the assisted living center was really wonderful, as I knew it would be. We even had some of our Shepard group join us - totaling about 30 people (8 adults, the rest were children). The children were the biggest hit, of course. I think they could have cared less about our singing. They were just so happy to see little ones dressed up in Christmas dresses giving them hugs and holding their hands. ...oh, what a blessing it is to serve, even in the smallest way.

It's comin' on Christmas...and I couldn't be happier about it...sick or not!! We are blessed and so thankful. God is good!

much love to all of our friends and family. We are praising our Lord and Savior for you this Christmas season and praying for a blessed holiday.

November recap

Unfortunately our family has been hit hard with sickness this fall. I believe the last time I went a long period without writing was because of sickness, and I must use the same excuse this time, as well. Being sick is such a bummer!!! We're a very affectionate family and we keep passing things back and forth to each other.

I must stop and praise the Lord, though, because we are so thankful to not be struggling with anything serious. We are so thankful for the too-many-to-count blessings the Lord has poured out on our family. This season of sickness has been a good excersize in remembering to "give thanks in EVERY circumstance". "...when the darkness closes in, Lord, still I will say Blessed Be Your Name!"

November was a whirlwind of Nutcracker activity! Raegan was in her first Nutcracker ballet the weekend after Thanksgiving. She played a mouse. The little mice stole the show! They were so cute! I've posted some pictures of her in her mouse costume, with her friend Megan, also in the show, and her with her two favorite professional performers, "Clara" and the "Sugar Plum Fairy".

Mrs. Haddad does a great job producing this show. She does it every year and brings in professional guest dancers for the key parts. It was a wonderful treat to be a part of. I got to help out back stage for two of the three performances. Mom was here and got to attend one of the performances, and our friends, the Wood family, were able to come, as well. You can see a picture of Ellie Wood with the girls.....SO cute. It was a great way to kick off the Christmas season!

Halloween in Great Falls, VA

Ahhh, Halloween in Great Falls, VA.... There's nothing quite like it. Everyone gathers in the 'village' where the local vendors are dressed to the 9's and offering candy to the children, and some offer champagne or wine for the adults. Last year when we went to the 'village' we saw a dad walking around with a champagne glass and were like "man look at that lush!! I can't believe he's out here drinking champagne while his kids are trick or treating...." Then we saw more....then we got excited! ....hahaha! (btw, I do know that it's kind of lame to get excited about such things, but it's kind of like in college when churches would come on campus giving away food. Few things were more thrilling, even if it was something you didn't like......am I the only one that got excited about .....cold green bean casserole?! ...c'mon!)

I must say that Halloween is still a bit of a novelty for me. I grew up on a farm, in the middle of 55 acres. We never went trick-or-treating. Mom and Dad would always take the three of us to our church, dressed as bible characters, and we always had a great time. Years later (post college) Gavin and I were living in S. Hamilton, MA before I saw my first trick or treaters. I didn't even realize kids really still did that anymore. It was like watching a movie the first time I saw it. So, even though we get rid of most of the candy, I still really enjoy the efforts we take to redeem Halloween from something that celebrates something evil, to a time for safe, family fun.

It was great fun, as usual. We are not fans of candy and do not keep it in the house. So, the girls got to pick out one piece of candy for each day, for one week (seven pieces total). We gave the rest of it to a dentist's office that buys it back, which then allows you to donate the money to a local shelter. It's a great way to put all that junk to good use and NOT in our bodies. The girls were excited to give it all away.

Rae was dressed as Princess Jasmine.

Roo was supposed to be dressed as Jasmine, as well, but realized that night that her Jasmine costume had been demolished at Raegan's Little Gym birthday party. So she picked a Cinderella dress out of the dress up basket, that was still in good shape (many are not). She got very much into character!:)

Eliot was, as you can see, a Red Hot Chili Pepper! ...hahaha. She HATED it, but didn't protest too much. The ONLY time she smiled was in the picture I have above. The rest of the night she just kept this look of "I can't believe you have me in this". She got a lot of attention, but couldn't have cared less. ..It was hilarious!

Everyone in Great Falls comes out for the festivities and it was lots of fun to see many of Rae's friends from school. Elmo was there to pose with all the kids. There is a pet store that sends treats home for your pets. The gazebo in the middle of the courtyard is setup for professional pictures to be taken with special props, etc. And, as I've already said, most of the adults are following their children around with wine or champagne flute in hand.........ahhhh:)

Challenged to Listen

Gavin and I are blessed to be a part of a shepherd group (fancy lingo for small group) with our local church, Reston Bible Church (RBC). Though I just deleted several paragraphs describing the group to you, you should still know that I absolutely adore this group of people, and count myself very blessed to have them in my life for this season.:)

We're reading excerpts from a book called Classic Devotionals, which gathers excerpts of sermons, writings, etc. from classic Theologians and Christian leaders throughout history - great little book, btw. The most recent read was by Henry Nouwen about finding solitude in our prayer life. We had a great discussion and I left feeling very challenged.

Our beloved pastor Dave, from the Cambridge Vineyard, issued an amazing challenge a few years back that relates to this very topic. I can't remember how he titled it, but it was basically prayer journaling. The concept is to quiet your mind for the purpose of conversing with God. As you begin to speak to God the way you would to a precious loved one, you right down the conversation that begins to unfold.

It goes something like:
me: Hi, God
Hi
me: How ya doin today?
doin' good, thanks. How you doin?
me: I'm feeling a little depressed. What's going on with me?

..you get the picture. ..and you sit and listen, typing what you hear even if you think that may have just been yourself answering that question. Eventually, you learn to distinguish between your head voice and His. ...I am still blown away, as I read back through those entries, the amazing things my daddy revealed to me when I was quiet and listening, conversing with him.

{...don't judge it, till you try it!! I know, I know, I know what you're thinking; how quickly things like this can be taken to an unhealthy extreme; how you can do some damage with this if what you hear is not held in check with scripture and accountable to someone outside of yourself, and on and on. But! don't judge it, till you try it! Meditation and solitude are consistant themes held throughout scripture. Just because the enemy has taken this concept and twisted it to have a negative association, doesn't mean it is not redeemable, and should not, therefore, be redeemed, to the glory of God.}

The months that I practiced this were some of the most amazing times of revelation in my spiritual life to date. Not only was there power in just taking time to listen and speak little, but the power of carving out time for solitude is enormous. I have great intentions for starting to prayer journal again (Trish do you remember what he calls it?), but in the mean time I am focused on redeeming every moment I can for really listening to God; our amazing God who is still speaking.

Today, I was out and about for a few hours with the girls. I began those few hours asking for God to use my current vulnerability to please speak to me - I was listening. He spoke - so sweetly. He gave me three sweet opportunities to be used by Him. The girls were a part of two of those opportunities. How precious are the things God will show us, if we just stop our inner noise long enough to listen.

As one of our dear friends shared this week in our SG (shepherd group), we just need to get in touch with our sheep-ness. Even though sheep are a pretty dumb animal, at least they recognize their Shepherd's voice, and listen.

Today was a blessing. The challenge is to keep listening....

(to be continued)

Raegan is 6!!!!

Our first born is now six years old!!! I can hardly believe it. She turned six on Saturday, the sixth of October. Her actual party is next Saturday but we had a small celebration this past Saturday. Gavin's parents came up a few days before to be here for her special day. We had her best friend over and all headed over to our local mini-farmer's market. It's called Krops Crops and we are faithful patrons. They sell pumpkins, apple cider, apples, and other produce during the appropriate seasons, and Christmas trees. We've gotten to know the owner's daughter, Lori. She's great.:)

First the girls played in the corn pit (kind of like the ball pit except with dry corn kernels instead), then we had freshly picked apples (SO YUMMY!), and fresh apple cider while we waited for our hay ride. Umm, it was so good. The hay ride was fun and cute. The girls LOVED it! It was a bumpy ride and they laughed every time we hit a bump. We ate our apples on the ride. Eliot especially loved the apples. She sucked on Gavin's like it was a pacifier!

Half way through the ride we got to stop and pick our very own pumpkin from the pumpkin patch! The girls took their time searching through all their choices before finally deciding on the perfect pumpkin. They really were the perfect pumpkin for each one, too. ...so funny.

Then we loaded back up on the wagon and finished our hayride. The girls played in the corn pit a little longer while the adults went inside to buy some more apples and cider.

Once we were home we had cake and Rae got to open her presents. ....there is so much to say, but I won't. I'll just tell you simply that every other present we had planned fell through and we decided on something that we would not normally have gotten her, but are now so happy that we did. Raegen is now a proud owner of a convertible corvette - barbie style, of course. Yes, it had to be convertible, her mommies first car was a convertible. How could I not pass on the tradition.

Even though this gift is a little extravagant, it has been a source of much entertainment. We have all laughed more in the last few days over this silly little car than anything else I can remember of late.

Long time, No Blog....:)

Well, it has been a while since I've blogged because the Long household has been sick, sick, sick. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. Thankfully I haven't really gotten it. First Rae came home with a cold and passed it on to Roo. Reece is just like my mom in that her colds go straight into her chest and cause an awful cough. I took her to the doctor and found out that she had strep:( ..poor baby. But she always amazes Gavin and myself with her cheery disposition even though she feels so bad.

Next was Rae: she came down with this really high fever, just as Roo was healing after a week of antibiotics. I felt sure it was strep also and took her to the doctor. She tested negative and they said it must be some kind of virus. Her fever began very early in the morning Sunday and lasted through Wednesday. It was a pretty high fever but no other symptoms. I heard on Thursday that this was a virus going around: high fever for four or five days and then gone, with no other symptoms. Isn't that strange?!

Now little Eliot is sick:( Sickness is so much worse on little ones! I hate it. She can't breathe to nurse, so I'm having to bottle feed her. She can't sleep. She is pretty miserable, and yet also has her moments of delightfully surprising cheer. It's been almost a week. I'm hoping her cold is almost over - or it could always be teething! You never know at this age - but it seems worse than just teething. Who knows! I remember taking Roo to the doctor, completely convinced that she had an earache only to be told that she was cutting a tooth. I couldn't believe it! I felt so silly.

Anyway, I'm coming up for air after several weeks of little sleep, wining babies and short fuses. We're doing okay. Everyone survived! Gavin is unfortunately gone for the week - he's still a little sick - so please keep him in your prayers. Some things are changing with USBX, and therefore, may be changing with his position. This seems to be an entry way back into an entrepreneurial venture for us, and we're excited about the possibilities.

Enraged Parent.......not really that enraged, but still!

(this is an email I sent to all the local news channels this morning. Now I know that on the scale of things, this is no big deal. This is not doing anything to solve world hunger or save the environment, both of which I care very much about, but it is something that matters to Raegan and it's worth my energy:))

I am outraged and don't know anyone better to vent to than this news station - hoping for justice!

You've seen stories popping up all over the country, about enraged parents looking for tickets to a Hannah Montana concert, only to be denied. It is not the "being denied" part that I am so furious about. ...that's just life. However, when the tickets go on pre-sale for fan club members, the tickets should ONLY be available for FAN CLUB MEMBERS!

I was on ticketmaster at 9:59 this morning, and again, immediately at 10:00, when these pre-sale tickets became available. (I was there earlier, but you get the point) I entered my daughter's fan club access code, but was told, at 10:00, that there were no tickets! How is this possible?! I ask myself this question because when I do a google search for tickets in DC I get sites like: StubHub offering me tickets - that I just tried to buy for $66, now for $400+; or TicketsNow that have 54 tickets available at this venue alone? The list goes on.

Surely Ticketmaster has a way to monitor where these tickets are going. If I couldn't get 4 tickets at 10:00 then how did TicketsNow have 54 tickets, minutes later?! Even if TicketsNow, for instance, had 14 agents ready to log on at 10:00 and purchase tickets (4 tickets at a time is the max), how were they able to get through and have ticketmaster approve this amount going to the same address, which must be verified before purchase is complete?

This doesn't add up. It's more than just not being able to get tickets. It's the principal behind maintaining a moral, upstanding business acumen. This is nothing short of shady. I would love to know if any actual fan club members were able to buy tickets this morning, or if they all went to brokers? What's the point of having fan club pre-sales if brokers are the majority ticket owners by the end of the ....minute?

I could understand the price gouging on the sale of tickets to the general public. But it is crossing the line when you intentionally are deceptive (posing as a fan club member) in order to make a buck. Why would I encourage this business by buying overly priced tickets from a broker? I would pay more than $66, easily, to go see Hannah Montana, but I am not about to pay some broker that is in for an easy buck. I WON'T encourage that behavior.

I would love to see one of your investigative reporters do a story on the shady business of ticket brokers. How exactly do they go about cheating little children out of seeing one of their heroes? It's not right.

A concerned parent,
Emily Long

Crown of Thorns

So I must say that I am a hard sale when it comes to worship meetings, bible studies, etc. Not that it's hard to get me to go - I love worship and studying the word - but I'm usually pretty skeptical about the depth of the content.....does that make sense? I have approached this Beth Moore study with equal caution, not wanting to expect too much. I am already really pleasantly surprised! Really!

Today was our first discussion about the text we studied this past week. These kind of biblical discussions are always difficult, I feel, when you're with a group just getting to know each other. Everyone is kind of on edge trying to figure out where you come from, spiritually and biblically. But they are a very nice group of women and I'm so happy to be a part of it.
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The subject that occupies my thoughts today is the account of Abraham and Isaac. Anyone who was raised going to church - at least Baptist, Lutheran, Presbyterian - knows well the story of Abraham being asked to sacrifice Isaac, his only son, in order to show his faithfulness to the Lord. You know that just as Abraham was raising the knife to kill his son on the alter the Lord stopped him and provided a ram for the sacrifice instead. Abraham was rewarded for his faithfulness, being willing to give up the most important thing to him in the world. Isaac also represented the covenant God had made to Abraham, promising that he would be the father of many nations, that his descendants would outnumber the stars. Abraham had enough faith to trust that God had a plan bigger than he understood, and obeyed with wreckless abandon.

This is an amazing story in and of itself. One can clearly see, through the Christian lens, that this was a precursor to the plan already in motion of God sacrificing his only Son, Jesus, as the ultimate and last sacrifice. It is fascinating, troubling, amazing, and precious all at the same time.

In this study, however, Moore digs a little deeper regarding the way God provided a sacrifice that day Abraham found himself standing over his son with his knife drawn. Beginning with the fall, God tells Adam that, as part of the curse, thorns and thistles will grow from the ground. Thorns are evidence of the curse.

...a little side note: on their way up the mountain Isaac basically says, hey dad, we have the wood and things for a fire, but where is the lamb? Abraham replies back, "God will provide himself a lamb". God didn't provide a lamb. He provided a ram. For the first time, I wondered what was the significance of a ram vs. a lamb. So a ram is an adult sheep - sadly I had to look that up. You may have already known that, but I thought it was very excellently significant, and should be noted.

The ram was found in a thicket, caught by its horns. Moore suggests that a thicket in the Middle Eastern terrain was normally a thorn bush. So the ram, an adult male sheep, was caught in the thorns by it's horn...

"Luke 1:68-69 says, 'Praise the Lord, the God of Israel, because
He has visited and provided redemption for His people. He has
raised up a horn of salvation for us in the house of His servant
David' (HCSB). Blessed be the horn of our salvation! Jesus
Christ was the Ram whose head was wrapped in thorns to secure
God's blessing for all who would receive it." -B. Moore, A Woman's Heart

Wow!!! Jesus wearing a crown of thorns takes on a whole new meaning for me now. I don't know if that hits you as hard as it hits me. It may be my simplicity, but to think of how that ram, caught by it's head in the thorn bush, was symbolic of the sacrifice our Lord would make, humbling himself to literally wear the curse of sin on his head, a crown of thorns, levels me. Wow.

some pics of the girls

You can see Rae's adorable dance outfit, and both of the girls gymnastics leotards:) oh, and there are a few of elle...:)

(thanks, Anna, for the slideshow idea:))

Ministry of Reconciliation

I've just begun a women's bible study at RBC (Reston Bible Church) on Thursday mornings. I'm very excited about it. I tried to do this last year, when we had first moved, but too many things were going on for me to commit the time and effort it requires. (btw, I can't believe it's already been a year?!?! What?!!!:)) So when the opportunity presented itself ...they've been doing this women's bible study ministry at RBC for over 20 years ...I jumped at the chance.

Childcare is provided for Elle, and Roo and Raegan are in school, of course. I am pretty sure that I'm one of the youngest, if not the youngest woman attending among the 50+ women, but there are several little babies in the nursery with Elle. The church gets older women from an assisted living facility near by to come and watch the children. They all love the children dearly and it is a wonderful little side ministry. The women get paid, too! It's a great idea. The older women are always sad to see summer come because they miss the children. I met all of them last week, as we all came in at the same time. They are really precious women.

I am participating in a Beth Moore study called "A woman's heart", based on the study of the Tabernacle in the OT. I'm excited to do a Moore study as my mom and sister have done several and always rave about their time spent doing so. I'm several days into the first week of study and I am intrigued. Not only is this the first time, in a long time, I've been challenged to really dig into the word on a daily basis, but this topic of the Tabernacle is not one I have studied since college, and then only briefly.

I'm sure I'll be writing a lot about what I'm learning through this study. The first thing to have caught my attention is the verse, 2 Corinthians 5:18: ...[God] reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation...

The ministry of reconciliation... I think of this, much like I do of chapter 1 in 2 Corinthians, a passage I have clung to for many years which says that He is the great Comforter who has comforted us so that we may comfort others. We have been reconciled so that we may be bring reconciliation to the world. ...priesthood of the believers. ...which takes place, not through an individual, but through the BODY of Christ, us, His people. We have been given a ministry of reconciliation.

Though this may seem a trivial discovery, it took me aback. I don't recall ever hearing about this ministry before. I'm not really sure what it means...practically speaking. It certainly does make me think a little harder about my relationships and what it really means to share the life of Christ with others.

It seems this thought of "bringing reconciliation" is much more than being evangelical, though the act requires such a heart. Evangelism has taken on a connotation of an apologetic delivery of the gospel message. In other words, to be evangelical means that you "present", in argument fashion, the gospel of salvation. Whether that be through a brief explaination of the 7 Spiritual laws, or through many conversations, it is still a presentation of some form. ...it seems cold and distant, though delivered with the absolute best of intentions, no doubt. The word "reconcile", however, denotes a sense of healing. It carries a warmth that surpasses information or knowledge.

After three years of marriage, Gavin and I went through the most traumatic thing either of us had ever experienced in our marriage/life, and we understood the words "restored", "redeemed", "reconciled" in a much deeper way than we had ever imagined knowing. These words were personal. They were healing. Their realty was a blessing full of joy and new life.

Reconcile means:
To reestablish a close relationship between.
To settle or resolve.

This is our ministry to the world, through Christ, who has reconciled us, so that we may bring reconcilation to others. It's personal; it brings healing and, to participate, is a blessing full of joy and new life.

Lord, please continue to work this out in me. I still don't really understand what this looks like, but I want to.

thoughts?

Old Murphy

Yesterday was quite eventful! We started out the morning just like any other. We got out of bed at 7am. The girls used the potty, got dressed and met me downstairs for breakfast. I had their food ready and was popping some left over omelet in the microwave for me. Music was playing throughout the house. Everything was relatively peaceful - as peaceful as busy mornings can be - and we were on schedule. ...until I hit the "start" button on the microwave.

As soon as the microwave started, or rather tried to start, I immediately knew something weird was going on. The light inside the microwave was very dim, much more so than usual, and it started making a funny buzz noise. I quickly stopped it and tried again, thinking maybe it was a little glitch. This time it did the same thing, and the speakers in the living room blew out, and the ceiling fan knocked off.

....OKAY!! strange! The speakers are new, so maybe there was something weird with the wiring, so I take the girls their breakfast, because there's no time for stopping. The very tight ship must go on:) I went to turn the light on in the dining room, which are set on a dimmer, and they wouldn't come up past a low dim. As I did this more things began popping around the house. I immediately yelled for Gavin and Nick and went around the house unplugging everything I could get to.

The night lights in the upstairs hallway were as bright as spotlights, when they are normally very dim, things were popping left and right! AGGHH!!! What is going on?!

Nick shut the breaker off and the three of us gathered in the kitchen to figure out what in the world just happened. The girls were still eating breakfast, as Gavin called the electrician. He referred us to the power company, saying that if it is house wide it has to do with the power source. The power company was out a few hours later discovering that when Verizon had come down our road months ago, installing a new fiber optic line, they had cut part of our neutral line, which stabilizes the ebbs of flow of electricity coming into the house. Over time the line had finally completely severed.

After getting the girls to school I decided Elle and I would stay out while they were trying to get the power back on. They had to dig up the road to install a new line. Thankfully, Gavin and Nick decided to turn around and come back home to be there when the power company got there, otherwise I don't know that they would have been so thorough. ..by now they were heading, once again, toward work.

On Monday's, in Virginia, the teacher's get out at noon. For Kindergarten, since it's only until noon, usually, they get out an hour early, at 10:45. I know this. But this was no normal day. Murphy was visiting and was making our lives ____, um, interesting for the afternoon:) I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THE EARLY PICK UP! The school was able to reach Gavin, who was still on his way to work, and he and Nick turned back around, for the second time, to go pick up Rae.

I went ahead and picked up Roo and then we met Gavin, Nick and Rae at home. By this time the power was back on and we were assessing the damage. We lost the dishwasher, the double ovens, the washing machine, our IHome, the new dvd/vcr combo that was downstairs, both garage doors......that's all for now, but we're still looking. The surge protectors we had did their jobs and saved us from an electrical fire that would have burned the house down, no doubt. They were fried so we've already replaced them. A must, in our home.

Well. Thank you, Lord for surge protectors, and for being the great protector of our lives. I'm so thankful that it wasn't any worse than it was. It could have been devastating!! God is good. Murphy is evil. And we're just fine:)

I hope everyone else is doing wonderfully! We're all healthy, happy, safe, and extremely thankful:)

Today, is already a MUCH better day! Lots of fun. Today is gymnastics and dance:)

Be safe out there!:) ...get some surge protectors if you don't have any already.

First Week of School

Well, we did it!! I have to just praise the Lord for a wonderful week.

(this last picture was just before bath time - typical Roo - she came in completely naked except for her socks. Gavin ran to get the camera because it was just too perfect - that's me censoring the pic, with Elle's bald head making a cameo:))

Raegan started school on Tuesday. She did great. Raegan made lots of new friends. One of her best friends, already, is Megan who also takes dance at her ballet class.

Dance is a wonderful blessing. I'm going to get pictures of her uniform - so adorable. They all look the same - all the students wear a maroon, long sleeved leotard, light pink tights, and a pink headband. The teacher is very good. She demands a lot of the girls, and isn't exactly warm and fuzzy, but the all the girls love her. She's originally from Russia, if that gives you a better idea of what kind of personality she has. She's really great. I'm happy with how that is going.

Reece began her first day of school on Thursday and I was completely shocked at how well she did! She didn't hesitate a bit. She walked right in and got busy working on a project.....!!!! Wow! ...not even a pouty face!!:) I waited and observed her for a while to make sure that she would be okay - she was. Her teacher Mrs. Rous (from France:)), said that you would have thought she had been going to Montessori for years. I'm so proud of her! I can't believe it!

Gymnastics was also on Tuesday. I'll get pictures of that, too:) Also a really wonderful activity for the girls. The gym is owned by a family that is wonderful. They've been doing this for over 20 years. The dad, mom, and daughter all teach and are wonderful, along with the other teachers.

We are so blessed!

What a week!

Wow! This week has already been full of firsts for our family. First on the list of firsts...:), Rae started Kindergarten today! We spent a lot of time talking about what the day would entail as we prayed together last night. She had lots of questions, mainly about what she would do if someone was mean to her. We prayed for God to give her strength through her fear. We went back over one of the previous devotionals from our princess book, about how she is chosen, and that crowns and jewels don't make a princess, but sharing God's love and the light He has blessed her with does.

As we walked into her classroom this morning, I did get a little misty eyed, but mostly I was so happy for her and proud. I knew she was ready and that this is going to be a great experience for her. She's strong.

Roo, Elle and I picked her up and she was beaming. She made lots of friends today, and was sure to tell me about one very sassy boy - who we prayed for tonight:) hahaha my little Rae, she is quite the evangelist:)

After school we headed home for a quick lunch and an even quicker nap. It went very smoothly - thank you, Lord!

We then headed out to our first day of gymnastics at NVGA (Northern Virginia Gymnastics Academy). Wow!!! It was great. Roo was a little nervous at first because she forgot that we weren't going back to the Little Gym, but then warmed up quickly and had a fabulous time. Raegan loves it, too. Elle and I spread out on the matted floor and played together. Fun was had by all:)

Next, we piled in the car and headed back into Great Falls for Rae's first day of Ballet at her new school, Margaret Haddad School of Ballet. Rae didn't skip a beat. She couldn't wait to get into ballerina mode. Roo, Elle and I played in the lobby together. I think next time we'll go across the street to our favorite library:) All of the other parents dropped off their daughters and showed up again when it was time for class to be over. So I think we'll try the library to pass the time. Although it seemed to go by very quickly today.

We got home and crashed! What a day! Thankfully this is only a Tuesday thing. I had the option of doing gymnastics on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but dance is also twice a week on those days, and I don't think I'm strong or sane enough to try another day like today twice in one week.

The other really big first, as you can see, is that Elle had her head shaved this week! Don't worry! Even though this is a first for Elle, it is also her last. Gavin and I used team work to get this one done. As we were shaving her head, I couldn't believe that I had shaved Roo's head all by myself, when she was six months old! She looks adorable. We used the electric razor first, then "bick"ed it.

Though the kitchen is quite messy right now, I am proud to have come through this day having had fun and enjoying my precious little ones. They were amazingly wonderful. It was a blessed day:) ...and one I'm sure to remember for years to come.

Fun with family

Over our vacation we spent lots of time with family, some that we haven't seen in years. We had a great time catching up with so many of my cousins and their families. One such occasion was the celebration of my Nana's 80th birthday (my dad's mom).

We had a wonderful time playing in the pool and chatting up my very wonderful cousins, Jason, and his wife, Janet, and Marnie, and her husband, Dave. Gavin and I got really close with Jason and Janet when we lived in Cary, just before Roo was born. They are wonderful friends. Jason and Gavin have a lot in common and share a very sweet bond - the Carolina fanatic bond....;) So, it was great to see them and really catch up. I loved being able to spend time with Marnie and Dave's adorable little Jack, and Jason and Janet's cutie pie, little Anna.

Of course, we spent lots of time with my brother and his family, too, which was really fantastic. I love my brother very much and we've become much closer since getting married and having children. I still vividly remember the first serious conversation I ever had with my brother. Gavin and I were living in Boone, having just left Boston the first time, and were celebrating our sister's graduation, when he asked me how I knew Gavin was the one. He then began to describe a very beautiful, and strong woman, who I now know as my sister-in-law, Stephanie:) His girls and mine are about the same age. Macy and Rae are two weeks apart. Abbi and Roo are more like a year apart, but still play great together. (their son Hayes is the oldest grandchild and we had a great time with him, too. He is a very talented musician and he got to show off a little for Gavin and myself while we were home. We were both extremely impressed!)

They were at the party, too. We had so much fun being all together, and seeing our little ones play together. We did, however, greatly miss our little sister Jenny. It's the first time we've all been together in years and we all greatly missed her presence. (She's away on a year long mission trip)

The girls and I also got to spend several days with my cousin Elizabeth. She also has three girls. Hannah and Rae are three years apart. Roo and her second little girl, Mckenzie, are only two months apart in age, and her most recent little one, London, and Elle are only two weeks apart in age. Everywhere we went we got SO much attention. I guess it was quite a site to see the two of us girls, who look young for our age anyway, being followed by six little girls! We felt very "girl power"-y when we were together! They all played so great together and it was the most time I've ever spent with her precious little girls. We even got to spend the night one night!!! We had such a great time.

I am very blessed. I love my cousins, dearly. We never spent that much time together growing up, but it is wonderful to be friends with them now. My sister and I have always been friends, but it's also a special blessing to be friends with my brother and sister-in-law. We talked about real things on this trip, shared some of our dreams, went out on a double date. It was wonderful! We all have children and are coming into our own. It is a special kind of friendship, unique to my other relationships. I'm very thankful for each one.

getting my feet wet again:)

It has been over three weeks since my last post!!!!! THREE WEEKS! I was doing so well there for a while. Vacation took a huge toll on my blogging, and then this week has been packed full of getting the girls prepared for school and tying up loose ends. School begins next week for Raegan, on Tuesday, and for Roo, on Thursday. Dance and gymnastics begin this coming week, as well. Life is about to get a little crazy, but I'm ready and excited! I'm looking forward to seeing how this will work.

I have lots of pictures to upload and lots to share, but I thought I'd begin slowly for tonight (this will probably show up as tomorrow's blog, but it is currently Saturday night as I write this.) So here are some quiz results that I found from one of my friend's blogs. Enjoy:) ...and stay tuned for much more to come:)

You scored as Martin Luther,The daddy of the Reformation. You are opposed to any Catholic ideas of works-salvation and see the scriptures as being primarily authoritative.

Which theologian are you?
created with QuizFarm.com


Which theologian are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Martin Luther		80%
John Calvin		73%
Charles Finney		60%
Jonathan Edwards		60%
Jürgen Moltmann		47%
Anselm		47%
Paul Tillich		40%
Karl Barth		33%
Augustine		33%
Friedrich Schleiermacher		27%

Which theologian are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

His Little Princess

This is the title of that great devotional mom bought for the girls. Tonight the devotional was about being a blessing to others. The letter from the King talked about helping mom when she's doing something, or helping a little brother or sister when they need help, and looking for other ways to be helpful and bless those around them. The prayer led the girls to ask for forgiveness for the times they didn't help when they should have, and for more opportunities to bless others.

Macy and Abi are spending the night at Marneaux's tonight, with us. They are all four lined up, length-wise in her bed. They each took turns saying their prayers. Macy's was very sweet. I was very impressed with how thoughtful she was and how tender her heart is.

Raegan went next. She always incorporates something from that evenings devotional in her prayer, which I love. She asked for God to please bring her daddy home safely and went ahead and thanked him for doing so. She asked God to forgive her for not helping her sister as much as she could have, "because sometimes I say, 'no Reece, you can't have that', and I say bad things", hand movements and all, "and I'm really sorry for that. Help me to be less selfish about myself":)

Then, she prayed for Macy....which sounds really sweet, but Gavin and I have had to explain on this trip, that Macy makes up a lot of stories, and Rae shouldn't believe everything she says. Like, for instance, she told Raegan that she crawled into her older brother, Hayes', back pack and went with him on his recent trip to Baltimore....:) It took many times of going through the logic of that claim to convince Rae that Macy made up that story and has a beautiful imagination, and if Rae wanted to pretend that was true it was fine with us, and a great thing to do, but just know it wasn't actually true....

So, Rae begins to pray that God will forgive Macy for lying, and that Macy will stop lying, and then says that God doesn't like it when we tell lies, "so, God please help Macy to stop telling lies". ....I felt like the moment suddenly went into slow motion as she kept saying the words "Macy" and "lies" over and over again. ...NOOOOO!!!!!! ...as Mom and I tried really hard to hold back our laughter and smiles, we let the girls finish their prayers. Abi went next and then Reece, both sweet and to the point.

After the prayers were over I quickly tried to nip the whole "Macy lies" thing in the bud by explaining that she wasn't lying ..really...just telling stories, and that she has a great imagination, just like each of the other girls.....hehehe (nervous laughter). To clarify: Rae wasn't mad about the whole "lying" thing, instead she was just very concerned for Macy, and thought she needed forgiving since Macy didn't ask to be forgiven on her own.

It was done with a very sweet heart, it just made me feel an inch tall, because we certainly didn't mean to imply that Macy was a liar. I think she was trying to be a blessing to others......:) The very funny thing is that Macy wasn't at all fazed by it:)!! They all love each other so innocently. It's a very sweet thing. ...I was sure to tell Macy how much I love her, and gave her extra hugs and kisses tonight, though, just in case.:)

(I'm trying to take pictures so I can upload them when we return home.)

10 years...

First, a short note to say that we are all in NC, staying with my mom and having a wonderful time! We are spending much of the day in the pool, and visiting with my family. My brother has two little girls the same ages as Raegan and Reece. They all love each other so much. We've tried to see them every day. Fun! We're going out on my uncle Ron's boat tomorrow, on lake Wylie!

The title of this blog is referring the fact that today, August 9th, is mine and Gavin's 10th wedding anniversary! Wow! I had no doubt, as we stood in Alexis Baptist church exchanging our vows, that we would celebrate this day, but had no idea, of course, all these 10 years would bring into our lives.

Gavin is traveling today, but he surprised me with a pedicure and manicure at my favorite spot, here in Cornelius. We've talked on and off throughout the day, and we'll be heading to Charleston, SC on Sunday, where we spent the first night of our honeymoon, the Vendue Inn. We are so excited. We'll be there through Wednesday. It's our first time back there in 10 years. (Elle will be with us because I'm still nursing, but Rae and Roo are staying with my mom)

I don't usually spend our anniversaries thinking about our wedding day. I think I'm usually too busy trying to make the day special. But with Gavin gone today, I had time to reflect on that really wonderful day. I was very blessed to kind of relive that blessed event.

Things I would change, first of all, to get it out of the way: THE DRESSES!!! All of them! I even designed those awful bridesmaids dresses, because I really wanted something extremely affordable, and something everyone could wear after the wedding was long over. Well, I seriously doubt if any of those dresses have ever again seen the light of day. They didn't quite turn out as I had envisioned, needless to say. I'm so sorry to all of my sweet bridesmaids who humored me and wore those dresses with smiles on your faces and without a single complaint.

I would also change my dress. UGH! I would go with something much more simple and definitely would loose that veil.

Enough of that.

The things I LOVED!! ...everything else. Really! I had so much fun on our wedding day. I loved everything about it. The moments that stick out to me the most are

...being in the back with my girls, listening to Drew, Drew, John and Sean sing "Emmanuel/Behold now the Kingdom" and lead the congregation in more worship. It was such a wonderful way to begin our marriage.

...Gavin having to stand on his tip toes to see me, over the people standing. It made me feel so special and beautiful to see his adoring eyes peeking over the crowd as I walked down the aisle.

...singing "Grace" by Wes King, to Gavin, after we had said our vows, and surprising him with it on the night of our rehearsal. I still remember how annoyed Gavin was when John started to play on his guitar, thinking that he was just playing around, until I began to sing and Gavin figured it out:)

...having Marty Dupree do our ceremony. He really brought so much humor and love to our ceremony.

...having the reception at our family home. We transformed our side yard with tents and a little dance floor, etc. It was a very special memory.

Over these 10 years the Lord has blessed us with three beautiful and strong girls. He has blessed me with a best friend, someone that challenges and excites me more than anyone I've ever known, a man that makes me feel beautiful, a friend that challenges me to be my best, an accountability partner who keeps me on my toes, someone who loves me and accepts me. I like who I am when I'm with Gavin. I love who we are and who we have become, as a couple. We have been blessed with a life filled with blessing and excitement.

Boston has left it's beautiful imprint on us, and now D.C., and N. Va are doing the same. Our lives have been blessed by moving when we felt pulled to move, giving up our comforts when we felt led to do so, surrendering our walls and being vulnerable with others seeking to build the Kingdom. Though we have survived some pretty tough knocks, whether by harming each other, or by others harming us, the Lord has been faithful to bring beauty from those ashes. I thank you, Lord, for every one. You are so good! You have redeemed us. You have restored us. We are a living testimony of your abundant love.

I pray for 50+ more years of life with Gavin, filled with the will to do and go wherever you lead us. I pray for your protection over our family; for long, healthy lives spent building your Kingdom. I pray for cups that overflow with blessing onto our families, friends and others around us. I pray that we would be known by our love, and that you would be glorified.

Thank you, Lord, for these 10 years. You are so good and I am so thankful!

What a fun day!

I wish that I had some pictures to post here to prove the fun we had, but unfortunately our hands were a little full to remember the camera. We had such a wonderful day today, filled with lots of fun. Our wonderful friends, Sammy and Renee, had a short retreat to attend this morning, so we kept their children, Ellie and Patrick.

They arrived around 9:00ish. After we had a light breakfast, we headed out to the Fairfax County park (over by the Water Mine) to see a very cute puppet show. It was so cute!!! We all really enjoyed ourselves.

Once we were finished there, we headed to Starbucks for a very quick stop - Gavin needed some caffeine before it got any later. Then, back to the Water Mine we went. The kids were so great, and we had a wonderful time. Patrick stuck with Gavin most of the time but really came out of his shell toward the end. Ellie and Roo stuck together the whole time. They are very cute buddies. Rae was a great mother hen to all of them and also ventured out on her own to explore the bigger, more challenging slides (while Gavin and Patrick stood close by) I had Elle in my arms and stayed within arms length of Ellie and Roo. They all did an amazing job!

The time flew by! Before we knew it, it was almost 2:00, when Renee was due to pick up the kids. We grabbed a quick bite to eat (the kids had been snacking the whole time we were at the park), and then headed to home. Renee was there waiting on us.

We had a wonderful time together and all the kids did such a great job listening and being respectful and looking out for each other. Gavin and I couldn't help but look around at how well we were handling five children....wasn't bad at all....completely do-able.......maybe.....who knows?:)

The rest of the day was spent cleaning the house, a Saturday tradition to prepare for Sabbath, which is very enjoyable. I know that sounds crazy, to enjoy cleaning, but we all have our individual chores and work together, even the girls, and that makes it fun. Next, we all take baths and get dressed up for dinner. We had a super yummy Sabbath dinner and enjoyed being together as a family. What a fun day!!

Oh, and Roo got her ears pierced yesterday! I can't believe it! She's such a big girl. Reece is very proud of herself and her newly transformed ears. I'll try to get a picture of that soon.

Rethinking the Cross

I am ashamed to say so, but in thinking about the cross, and John 3:16, I've always kind of compared it to getting a spanking as a child. "God so loved the world that He gave His only Son", was like, "You know I hate spanking you; this hurts me more than it hurts you". I'm sorry. ....It's absolutely horrible, I confess. I've never admitted that to anyone before, ever.

BUT, a few weeks ago, I was holding Eliot, watching her so innocently sleeping in my arms, and things became a little clearer. I was thinking about how greatly I love this little baby, who's personality is only beginning to form, and then my thoughts suddenly turned toward the cross. I started listening, as if I were in an audience. A rush of humility came over me.

It has always been true that I am a protector. I am fierce when it comes to protecting those I love, whether it be my family, friends, or children of my friends. I would MUCH rather put myself out there than to have anyone I love be in harm's way. If you asked me to defend those I love I have no doubt I would be there and do whatever it took. I would fight until there was no more fight in me.

However, if you told me I would have to sacrifice someone I loved, greater still, one of my beloved children ......quite frankly, I would tell you to go to ....., um, I would use very ugly words and punch you in the face. Sorry to be so harsh, but I can't communicate passionately enough that, there's just no way I could allow it. This is where my logic previously stopped. I secretly judged God for not sacrificing himself, instead of His son. I always kind of felt sorry for Jesus, as I do for children whose parents use that lame line, just before setting their buns on fire. (although, as a parent, I do understand the meaning behind this over-used cliche, but come on!!!)

As I held Eliot in my arms, I thought about my intense love for her. I thought how God loves her even more than I have ever imagined loving her. ...my thoughts continued down this path: if God loves Elle that much, then He must love Jesus, His own son, even more. ...God must love Jesus more than anything. ....He loves Jesus more than He loves himself. The most precious thing to Him, is His son.

When it comes to sacrifice, my most prized possession isn't my life, ..it's Eliot's, and Raegan's, Reece's, and Gavin's. I love you enough to sacrifice myself, but I don't love you enough to sacrifice my most prized possessions...not even one. I don't love anyone that much.

God does, and He did.

whoa! ..blown away.

I, for the first time, understood that it would have been so much easier for Him to sacrifice himself, rather than to watch His most prized possession be unappreciated, ..lied about, ..mistreated, ..abused, ..ultimately murdered. I KNOW that is nothing I could do. I just couldn't, but I am so thankful He did.

Thank you, Lord, for letting your grace be great when it comes to this punk, ignorant, arrogant child, who thinks she knows something about the Father you are or aren't. I praise you, Lord for your mercy in not striking me dead as I secretly mocked your enormous sacrifice. Please forgive me.

You are so good, Lord. You are so good to me. Thank you for your patient love that never gives up, despite my rebellious spirit. Thank you for loving me, ...really loving me. I am completely humbled.

Gavin is home!

After jet-setting for a few days around the.... ugh hum, a couple of states, Gavin, the rock star, has returned home!! We are all very, very excited about his highly anticipated return.

Those of you who know me well, know that I find it an occasional challenge to overcome the temptation of fear. I was, so tempted, this week while Gavin was away. My mom recently gave the girls the most adorable princess devotional book which we read each night. The devotional has one page with a letter from their King, and the other page has a prayer from the princess' perspective relating to the letter. It is so precious! Really! At first I was afraid it would be too cheesy, but it isn't at all. It's wonderful. I'll get the exact name, if you're interested.

But back to my temptation; The first day Gavin was gone the devotional was about not being afraid. ..very good, and appropriate since this was also the night that Leslie died (in Terabithia), and the power went out for a moment. The second night was about how to handle disappointment, loosing loved ones, etc. Okay, the devotional was great, but a little too much for me to handle as my husband still had a plane, and cab ride to survive before he would be home.

Normally, my mind would begin racing assuming that God was preparing me for some awful event. ...it doesn't take too grand an imagination to figure out where my mind was tempted to go... I spent much of the night thanking the Lord for loving me. I, praise the Lord, was able to focus on his love for me, for Gavin and for our family long enough to usher in that sublime peace that passes all understanding. Though I am still fully aware that "bad things happen to good people", I am content to focus on just trying to trust in the One that I know loves me and has a future for me. Hopefully, I am beginning a good habit!:)

Thank you, Lord for bringing Gavin home safely.

just because

These were some cutie pie pictures I took today. The girls were all ready for their dance class and they had both requested "piggy tails". They both picked out their own outfits, as usual. Roo usually comes out with some crazy combinations, but this outfit was too cute. I couldn't resist the opportunity to take some pictures and share them.

Elle has found her feet over the past two weeks. It's a sweet season. Though she is still not sleeping through the night, she is only getting up once at night, so I know we're trending in the right direction!! It won't be long now!!!:).....hehehe (nervous laughter...)

Gavin is on a "tour" right now, because he is, after all, a rock star. He flew to Indianapolis last night, drove from there to Chicago today, and will be flying to Cinci tomorrow, to finally return home tomorrow night. The girls and I miss him terribly. Rae is very dramatic about his being gone. She requested the "Daddy sing me to sleep" CD, which features all male Christian artists singing songs from a father's perspective to their children. It's a very sweet CD.

We're also reading Bridge to Terabithia, and Leslie died tonight. ....bad timing ...hehehe (more nervous laughter). Oh well. What are ya gonna do?! We prayed...a lot, and talked ...a lot. Then the power went off for a moment prompting us to find the lanterns from their camping excursion with their daddy. So, they both have their lanterns by their bed with strict instructions to calmly turn them on and come to my room if the power goes out again. I hope it doesn't. We live in the woods and it is VERY dark, when the power goes out...it freaks me out a little, too, but I play it cool:) ...with a flash light by my bed.

Playdates

Here are a few pictures from recent play dates. I finally picked up some boy dress up clothes, since the dad's weren't too crazy about their sons playing princesses with the girls. I can't figure out why?! The best dad story was from our wonderful friends, Chris and Kristy from a couple of years ago, actually, but I still think about it and laugh. I've been meaning to get boy dress ups since then, and have only this past week accomplished my goal. So have no fear, Chris! Stetson, can now choose between being a fireman, army man, or superman!!:)

The girls couldn't wait to try the new outfits on!

The other pictures are of the play date we recently had with Emma and her sisters (Katie is a year old, not pictured). Bethany and Reece are about the same age and have very similar temperaments. They all get along great. Emma and Rae are wonderful friends:) They come from a really cool family, as well. Gavin and I both really enjoy their parents and are so happy that these girls have found each other for a season. (Reece may be in the same class as Bethany this coming year!)

MYB - what a delight!

(Both girls are taking dance/gymnastics from the Little Gym, where these pictures were taken. The girls both enjoy it very much, but this is about Rae's other dance class. I just wanted you to be able to see them in their cute dance outfits:))

For the last four weeks we have been driving up to Silver Springs, MD every Wednesday for the Maryland Youth Ballet summer session, for Raegan. From the first week I could tell that this would be a special opportunity for Rae, who loves to dance more than anything else right now.

The MYB enforces a very strict dress code: hair must be pulled back in a tight bun, pink tights and a pink leotard. This set the tone for what to expect. We've never had a strict dress code before. I mean, in the past dance classes, the girls usually where the same basic dance outfit, but this was different. I loved it!

Each week, as Rae emerged from her class, she held her head a little higher than she had before she entered. She did a great job and excelled under the excellent tutelage of Mrs. Cox, who's been teaching for over 30 years.

The weeks have flown by, and I've had great conversations with the other mom's there. I didn't even realize that this was our last week, until we were starting to say goodbye to Rae's teacher. I couldn't believe it! I even had to ask several other mom's just to confirm that this was indeed our last week.

We were treated to a dress rehearsal of the ballet the older students are performing at Wolf Trap next week. It is called 'Caroline goes to the Museum'. It was such a delight!! They did a great job! It was a wonderful experience that we all enjoyed immensely!

We left today feeling so blessed. Rae was very sad to not be coming back, but we all decided to think on what a great experience it had been instead. Sometimes the Lord blesses us with small blessings that give us memories to last a lifetime.

All good things come from you, Lord. This was a very good thing. Thank you for your many blessings!!

Still Celebrating

As is tradition in the Brown family, I am still celebrating my birthday from last Wednesday! We "Brown girls" have an uncanny way of stretching out our birthday's. It's been the running joke for so many years, beginning with my mom.

Speaking of mom, she has been here since last Friday, as part of my birthday. She has been such a blessing, as usual! While she has been here I have slept in every morning (a great perk since I'm still having to get up twice through the night to feed Elle), this morning I even got breakfast in bed!!!! She has done the laundry (the dreaded task in my house), and let me sneak away for a few spa baths. That's right! I have actually shaved my legs more than once over the past five days! ....it's been a while:)

She is so wonderful with the girls, spoiling them just enough not to ruin them and still holding them to a standard of discipline that is expected in our home. Someday I hope she'll be able to have a restful vacation when she visits, but for now she works very hard to help me with the many tasks of our young family. She is amazing! I can't do enough to sing her praises. I am so blessed to be her daughter. I couldn't have asked for a more precious birthday present than to have her here for a visit.

I received another birthday present tonight from my dear sister. Most of you know that she is away for the year on a mission trip with Adventures in Missions. She, and her team, are joining already established and functioning missionaries and groups to serve orphanages, facilitate camps and whatever else needs to be done...including building a bamboo fence from scratch. She has been in the S. Africa region for the past two months and is soon heading to Thailand.

We all miss her terribly, though we are so happy for this life changing opportunity. Few days go by without one of us mentioning how much we miss her, or sharing a memory about her. (Jen, this week Rae and I were cooking something, I can't remember what now, but she stopped and looked down at the floor, as only Rae can, and then said "I'm remembering how we used have cooking shows with Aunt Jenny. I really miss her, Mommy". It was very sweet and we said a little prayer for you. The girls pray for you every night and it's always something different.)

Her birthday present to me was writing a blog in honor of me. It was very moving. By far, this is my most treasured birthday present. Thank you, Jenny for your kind words. I am equally blessed and humbled by your love.

(you can check out what she wrote by going to her blog, under my favorite stops on the left, if you're interested.)

Gavin and I will still have a bit of celebrating to do when we attend the Indigo Girls concert in late August at Wolftrap! I'm so excited.

I am so blessed! Thank you for a birthday to be remembered!

Reshaping how siblings interact

I realized something today, as I was having one of many recent conversations with Raegan regarding the subtle, destructive way she acts toward her sister sometimes.

Having an older brother and younger sister was a wonderful way to grow up. Though my brother picked on us relentlessly, and until someone was crying. He was also there to take up for me if anyone hurt my feelings or threatened me in any way. My younger sister and I had many, and still do have many, arguments and subtle "competitions". We would also, however, have people constantly mistaking us for best friends because we got along so well. We would sneak into the closet (it was a large, walk-in) at night with our flashlights and tell stories and read and giggle, too many times to count, always getting found out and ordered back to bed.

The getting along aspect of our relationship was certainly a credit to how our mom raised us. I remember very vividly her speech about how "you may have a problem with each other behind closed doors, but when you walk outside these doors you better act like best friends". She knew that eventually, it wouldn't be acting. We became accustomed to treating each other with respect.....for the most part, while in public and we didn't have to act like friends, we just were.

Now, behind closed doors was another subject entirely. We fought hard and often, over little things and big things. I still have some raw feelings regarding the way my brother and sister were closer than my brother and I were. We competed constantly, for my mother's attention, my father's attention, who was better at this or that, who was more responsible, etc.

The relationships I had with my brother and sister helped form who I am today. I have great memories and strengths because of those relationships, and great wounds and baggage, as well.

What came to me today during my discussion with Rae, was the power we older siblings have over our younger siblings, especially in our younger years. Rae has always been jealous of Reece, since the second day we had her home and Rae asked if we would "please take her back to the hospital, now". She was less than thrilled when we explained, again, how Reece was now a part of our family and wasn't going anywhere.:)

As I observe my girls together, I see the mistakes I made as a big sister. Gavin and I are constantly teaching the girls that we treat each other with respect. If we see either one of them treating the other disrespectfully we jump on it immediately. Though this may not always be true, Rae's actions usually have the purpose of pushing Reece down and making herself seem better. Her reactions to situations where Reece is being celebrated, is to make a comment that would point out the flaw in Reece.

As I tell Raegan that she has a lot of power over how her adoring sister will soon view herself, I realize that I, too, had this same power over my sister. As I council Reagan on how she has been given a lot of responsibilities as an older sister to take care of her younger sisters, I realize that I, too, had a huge responsibility to take care of my sister. I realize mostly, how I failed as a big sister.

Oh, I understood that I had a responsibility to take care of her, and you can still observe my mothering tendencies even today if you're around us for too long, but I didn't get the responsibility I had to helping her understand how special she is. I see how Raegan can so easily build her sister up or tear her down, because no one's opinion matters more to Reece than Raegan's opinion. As I tell Rae how Reece will either grow up to love and respect her for the way she treated her, or grow up to resent the way she always made her feel bad about herself, I realize that I could have, and should have done so much more to make my sister feel great about herself.

The great news is that these conversations mean so much to Rae, and she really gets it. I console her sensitive and broken heart by assuring her that I made the same mistakes with Aunt Jennny and she has a chance to be a better big sister than I was. She loves her sisters so much. She's a great big sister!

Siblings are a wonderful gift, if that gift is managed properly. Older siblings have an amazing amount of power over their younger siblings, for the good and the bad. We must continue teaching our little ones that our greatest goal is to be known by our love, which begins behind closed doors in our homes and overflows onto all those around us.

Though I can not change my actions in my adolescent years, I can at least do all that is possible to make sure I learn from my mistakes and foster better relationships, behind closed doors, for my children. This gift of power the older sibling has comes with an expiration date. I want to be sure we teach Raegan, and eventually Reece, how to get the goody out of it while they have it.

This world tells us that all children rebel, all siblings fight and that all families can not stand to be in the same room together. We believe that does not have to be true and we can choose a different path. By the grace and power of God, that will never describe our relationships. As for me, and my house, we will serve the Lord and be known by our love. Dear Lord, please let it be.